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Multiculturalism is a recent phenomenon. While many people would like to live in a multicultural society others prefer to live in a society with their own culture and disrespect people from other nation. With which opinion do you agree? Use specific reasons to support your opinion.

Multiculturalism is a recent phenomenon. While many people would like to live in a multicultural society others prefer to live in a society with their own culture and disrespect people from other nation. With which opinion do you agree? Use specific reasons to support your opinion. k5E1R
Racism is a certain kind of prejudice, based on faulty reasoning and inflexible generalizations toward a specific group. Fortunately, through multiculturalism people recognize the diversity of cultures and their bias against a certain race is removed. In multicultural societies all those individuals have their own culture, religion, morals and standards. Humans are not perfect species; we all have our flaws. Human’s greatest flaw is fear. Humans fear everything that is unfamiliar and strange to them such as foreigners and their cultures. In multicultural societies that fear is automatically eliminated as a result of familiarization with the “stranger”. In addition, it provides people with the opportunity of understanding and accepting one another. People usually try to change a culture or a religion to fit their own views, instead of accepting it and its diversity. Accepting the individuality and diversity of people and their customs indicates that they are equal in your eyes and that forms respect. In many ways humans are equal because they all have the same necessities and they all get hurt the same way. Once we accept someone’s religion and nationality we accept them as human beings. Furthermore, there is an advantage in living in a country that contains a variety of cultures. People get a “taste” of each culture, thus gain a greater understanding of its customs and history. For that matter, people living in a multicultural country are endowed with extraordinary powers of knowledge. As a great man once said “Knowledge is Power”. Countries with multicultural societies have the power to revolutionize the world and create unity and diversity at the same time. In summation, in order to reduce racism multiculturalism is a necessity. As a result of multiculturalism fear of the unknown is eliminated and instead of it respect and understanding for one another steps in.
Racism is a certain kind of prejudice, based on faulty reasoning and inflexible generalizations toward a specific group.
Fortunately
, through multiculturalism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
recognize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diversity
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and their bias against a certain race
is removed
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multicultural
societies all those individuals have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, religion, morals and standards.

Humans are not perfect species; we all have our flaws.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Human’s
greatest flaw is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fear
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Humans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fear
everything
that is
unfamiliar and strange to them such as foreigners and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multicultural
societies that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fear
is
automatically
eliminated
as a result
of familiarization with the “stranger”.

In addition
, it provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with the opportunity of understanding and accepting one another.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
usually
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
or a religion to fit their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
views,
instead
of accepting it and its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diversity
. Accepting the individuality and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diversity
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and their customs indicates that they are equal in your eyes and that forms respect. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
are equal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they all have the same
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
necessities and
they all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hurt the same way. Once we accept someone’s religion and nationality we accept them as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.

Furthermore
, there is an advantage in living in a country that contains a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a “taste” of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
,
thus
gain a greater understanding of its customs and history. For that matter,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multicultural
country
are endowed
with extraordinary powers of knowledge.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
once said “Knowledge is Power”. Countries with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multicultural
societies have the power to revolutionize the world and create unity and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diversity
at the same time.

In summation, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
racism multiculturalism is a necessity.
As a result
of multiculturalism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fear
of the unknown
is eliminated
and
instead
of it respect and understanding for one another steps in.
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IELTS essay Multiculturalism is a recent phenomenon. While many people would like to live in a multicultural society others prefer to live in a society with their own culture and disrespect people from other nation. With which opinion do you agree? Use specific reasons to support your opinion.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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