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Sport today is turning into a business with many companies involved and ever growing prize money for the sportsmen Do you think it s a positive or negative development

Sport today is turning into a business with many companies involved and ever growing prize money for the sportsmen Do you think it s a positive or negative development 562NV
No one can deny, businessmen spend a huge amount on Sportsmans because they know that today sports are the best source for marketing as well as for investment. So, the inclusion of association in sports are rapidly rais. It is a true statement, businesses are also involved in this field alongside owners of large organizations give the money prizes to sportsmen. I will discuss the positive side of these changes in sports as well as I will give the appropriate reason, why I held this point. To commence with, In the whole world, sports events also organized an extremely huge level such an Olympic, Asian games events, Australian games and many more. An ample of, talented players are do participate in this event. When enterprises tycoons invest the money in the game events as well as the highly successful companies choose the extremely talented player as the brand ambassador of their company and it is a great opportunity for sportspeople. Secondly, organizations also organized on the national level or international sports events in these matches those companies select the best players and purchase those players in extremely huge amounts. Take India as an example. Every year, IPL cricket matches are organized in India. In these matches, businessmen and a lot of celebrities made their own teams and they select the played by their own choice but they must be given the huge amount to that player for play in their team. This is immensely beneficial for sportsperson as well as for the future. Moreover, it is a motivation for that player who is select in the team then they do more and more hard work for bright future instead of it also do work as an inspiration for that player who plays at a small level. One of the major positive aspects of this change is that, when organizations are involved in sports, they give several amenities to players. This change also plays an essential role in order to the growth of this field. To conclude, the involvement of business in the games is a positive change. It provided numerous facilities to players as well as for the development of games.
No one can deny, businessmen spend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
amount on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sportsmans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they know that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are the best source for marketing as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as for investment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the inclusion of association in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
rapidly
Possible spelling mistake found.
rais
. It is a true statement, businesses are
also
involved in this field alongside owners of large organizations give the money prizes to sportsmen. I will discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as I will give the appropriate reason, why I held this point.

To commence with, In the whole world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
also
organized an
extremely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
level such an Olympic, Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
, Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
The phrase 'An ample of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'An' and 'of'.
An ample of
, talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
are
Consider using a past participle here: "done".
do
participate in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
. When enterprises tycoons invest the money in the game
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as the
highly
successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
choose the
extremely
talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
as the brand ambassador of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and it is a great opportunity for sportspeople.
Secondly
, organizations
also
organized on the national level or international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
in these matches those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
select the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
in
extremely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
amounts. Take India as an example. Every year,
Possible spelling mistake found.
IPL
cricket matches
are organized
in India. In these matches, businessmen and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
celebrities made their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
teams and
they select the played by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
amount to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
for play in their team. This is
immensely
beneficial for sportsperson as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as for the future.

Moreover
, it is a motivation for that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
who is select in the team then they do more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work for bright future
instead
of it
also
do work as an inspiration for that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
who plays at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
level. One of the major
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is that, when organizations
are involved
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, they give several amenities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
also
plays an essential role in order to the growth of this field.

To conclude
, the involvement of business in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
. It provided numerous facilities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as for the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
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IELTS essay Sport today is turning into a business with many companies involved and ever growing prize money for the sportsmen Do you think it s a positive or negative development

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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