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Museums which people don t visit even in their local areas and the importance of museums

Museums which people don t visit even in their local areas and the importance of museums E395L
In our society has some type of museums that not a lot of people visit although they are located in cities. And I believe this type of entertainment places have a big importance in our life. It is understandable that people do not go to some museums which near their home. I think such museums do not have interesting and antique exhibits or staff could not organize exciting tours. What is more, they might be not popular than other archives that around the city. Every pupil wants to choose the best thing for buy or best place to visit that enjoyable for free time, and they ask about such places from guide or agency. Finally their entrance fee might be too expensive for inhabitants of city and tourists. People pay for services and goods that worth its cost otherwise they do not try for that type of service. In my opinion museums have huge role in our life. Firstly, almost all museums have historical exhibits that impress us and give a lot of information about history. We can see some antique things in museums and there are monuments of famous persons and sculptures of people that lived centuries ago. Furthermore, museums are not only historical archives, they also entertainment places. For example, some museums have national titles and achievements like World Cup of “FIFA”, and we can see that there concerts and play organized. In addition to these we can say museums help for local tourism because some museums are very popular so tourists come there around the world. In conclusion, although some museums do not have visitors, we need these for historical knowledge and entertaining pupose.
In our society has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
that not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visit although they
are located
in cities. And I believe this type of entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
importance in our life.

It is understandable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not go to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
which near their home. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
do not have interesting and antique exhibits or staff could not organize exciting tours.
What is more
, they might be not popular than other archives that around the city. Every pupil wants to choose the best thing for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
or best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to visit that enjoyable for free time, and they ask about such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
from guide or agency.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
their entrance fee might be too expensive for inhabitants of city and tourists.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
pay for services and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
that worth its cost
otherwise
they do not try for that type of service.

In my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
have huge role in our life.
Firstly
, almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
have historical exhibits that impress us and give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
information about history. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
antique things in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and there are monuments of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
persons and sculptures of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
centuries ago.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
historical archives, they
also
entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
have national titles and achievements like World Cup of “FIFA”, and we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that there concerts and play organized.
In addition
to these we can say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
for local tourism
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
there around the world.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
do not have visitors, we need these for historical knowledge and entertaining
Possible spelling mistake found.
pupose
.
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IELTS essay Museums which people don t visit even in their local areas and the importance of museums

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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