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specia memory from a childhood

specia memory from a childhood 3LN2X
Each of us has special childhood memories, me too. people will have different possible memories of friendship; about teachers. . . but for me, the most special memory is with family. That day was 12/25/2012, it was my birthday. At that time, when I was young, I did not care and treat every day the same. When I finished school, I went home as usual, but when I got home I felt that everything was slowly settling down; very different every day. I went into the house and what a surprise; Among them are parents, aunts and uncles, and friends. . . I was moved to tears. This is the first time my birthday has been so surprised by everyone. I saw everyone's bright and happy faces. 2)The second surprise was the appearance of grandparents, this is a very special thing for me. It's been a long time since my parents were busy with work, so I couldn't go back to my hometown to visit my grandparents, I miss them very much and today my wish was fulfilled. It was the biggest birthday present my parents gave me. Grandparents and grandparents happily hugged me, once again I felt everyone's love for me. Next, we cut the cake together, ate a party together, and took lovely photos. That evening I opened presents, read emotional letters from relatives and friends and felt very lucky. I'm lucky that everyone is always by my side. That night I slept with my grandparents and heard people tell fairy tales. The birthday party my parents gave me was special and unforgettable. childhood memories shape our personality and future. They remind us of the good times and help us get by on tough days. Moreover, they remind us of past experiences and mistakes which help us improve ourselves.
Each of us has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
childhood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memories
, me too.
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people
will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memories
of friendship; about teachers.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
for me, the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memory
is with family. That day was 12/25/2012, it was my birthday. At that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, when I was young, I did not care and treat every day the same. When I finished school, I went home as usual,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
home I felt that everything was
slowly
settling down;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
every day. I went into the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and what a surprise; Among them are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, aunts and uncles, and friends.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
I was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to tears. This is the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
my birthday has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
surprised by everyone. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
everyone's bright and happy faces. 2)The second surprise was the appearance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
thing for me. It's been a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
since my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
were busy with work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I couldn't go back to my hometown to visit my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
, I miss them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
my wish
was fulfilled
. It was the biggest birthday present my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
gave me.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Grandparents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
happily
hugged me, once again I felt everyone's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for me.
Next
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
the cake together, ate a party together, and took lovely photos. That evening I opened presents, read emotional letters from relatives and friends and felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
lucky. I'm lucky that everyone is always by my side. That night I slept with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
and heard
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
fairy tales. The birthday party my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
gave me was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
and unforgettable.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
childhood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memories
shape our personality and future. They remind us of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
by on tough days.
Moreover
, they remind us of
Consider using "experiences".
past experiences
and mistakes which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
ourselves.
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If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay specia memory from a childhood

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
301 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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