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Some people think that more and more information about science research business and academic world should be shared freely others believe that some information is too valuable and important to be shared freely discuss both views

Some people think that more and more information about science research business and academic world should be shared freely others believe that some information is too valuable and important to be shared freely discuss both views ebVPp
There is a conundrum among people about whether sharing of information such as science discoveries marketing and the educational world id a good option or is predominant and more valuable to share it freely. This essay will bring forth both the views along with my opinion which inclines towards the former statement because it gelps people to enhance their knowledge. Initiating with the former perspective it is believed that it is good option to share more and more information about science research business and the academic world because it helps to boost the knowledge of people. People came to know about happenings in their surroundings. They will feel themselves connected with different fields. This will also help people to learn about different fields and collect information for their jobs and studies it is generally seen in the society that children learn a lot from the information given in newspapers about business and other fields also. Hence sharing of information is really a crucial as it helps to gain more knowledge. Due to which i favour the same. There is another school of thoughts which states that the information is very important and valuable to be shared freely because cybercrime is increasing day by day. If the information is shared freely then people may use it in wrong way. moreover some people use this information in the way which affects the privacy of the organizations. There are some groups such as Hackers which often try to harm the information provided by scientific research reputed business organisations and so on. An article was published in the tribune an Indian newspaper which revealed that 60 percent of business organisations cannot share their information due to fear of misuse of information as cybercrime is increasing rapidly. Therefore cybercrime is one of the glaring problem due to which people opine that valuable information cannot be shared freely. To encapsulate it is believed that much valuable information cannot be shared freely because cybercrime is increasing. But i believe that although cybercrime has increased over the past years yet information should be shared as much as possible because it gives people an opportunity to upgrade their knowledge levels.
There is a conundrum among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about whether sharing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
such as science discoveries marketing and the educational world id a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option or is predominant and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
valuable
to share it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freely
. This essay will bring forth both the views along with my opinion which inclines towards the former statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Possible spelling mistake found.
gelps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to enhance their knowledge.

Initiating with the former perspective it
is believed
that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option to share more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about science research
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and the academic world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to boost the knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
came to know about happenings in their surroundings. They will feel themselves connected with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields. This will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to learn about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields and collect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
for their jobs and studies it is
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the society that children learn a lot from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in newspapers about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and other fields
also
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
sharing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
really
a crucial as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to gain more knowledge. Due to which
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
the same.

There is another school of thoughts which states that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
valuable
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
cybercrime is increasing day by day. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freely
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
moreover
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in the way which affects the privacy of the organizations. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
groups such as Hackers which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
try to harm the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
provided by scientific research reputed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organisation' and 'organization') within a single text.
organisations
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. An article
was published
in the tribune an Indian newspaper which revealed that 60 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organisation' and 'organization') within a single text.
organisations
cannot share their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
due to fear of misuse of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
as cybercrime is increasing
rapidly
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
cybercrime is one of the glaring problem due to which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
cannot be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
freely
.

To encapsulate it
is believed
that much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
cannot be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
cybercrime is increasing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that although cybercrime has increased over the past years
yet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
as much as possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
an opportunity to upgrade their knowledge levels.
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One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think that more and more information about science research business and academic world should be shared freely others believe that some information is too valuable and important to be shared freely discuss both views

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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