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Sompe people say that supermarkets and manufacturers have the responsibility to reduce the cost of pakiging

Sompe people say that supermarkets and manufacturers have the responsibility to reduce the cost of pakiging gbNWd
writing9 Sign in IELTS Writing Correction Service / Writing Samples / Band 6. 5 Some people feel that manufactures and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of foods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. A huge amount of packaging of commodities can be considered as one of the culprits behind environmental problems. While it is suggested that curbing the increase of the packaging is the responsibility of producers and the store, I advocate that avoiding consumption of excessively packaged goods needs to be taken into consideration. There are some sound reasons why factories and supermarkets have to be responsible for this phenomenon. The first explanation is that if companies change the way to wrap their products, customers have to follow. For example, when all companies minimize the amount of plastic packaging or optimize the use of biodegradable, recyclable or eco-friendly materials, buyers have no choice, which contributes to the decline of packaging. Other than that, it is unnecessary for some products to be over-packaged. For instance, some biscuit brands wrap each biscuit in a small plastic bag before packaging them in a box instead of using the box only. However, consumers can tackle this issue by limit their consumption of products that are inordinately packaged because manufacturers and supermarkets always meet their demand. First of all, citizens do not have habits to bring their own baskets when they go shopping. To make them feel well-served, producer and staffs in stores wrap their products carefully with a lot of plastic bags to facilitate the delivery and preservation. Besides, if consumers have a tendency to boycott environmentally irresponsible companies, they have to change their attitude towards the materials they use to wrap their commodities. All in all, all customers, producers and stores have their own roles to relieve burden on our planet by reduce waste from the packaging of products. Submitted by punz1998 on Tue Apr 14 2020 Do you want to check your essays? Submit an unlimited number of essays. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills. GET STARTED 7 Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more 0 Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer 1 Mistakes 4 paragraphs 274 words 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9. 0 5 0 5 Overall Band Score COHERENCE AND COHESION: 4. 0 4 Structure your answers in logical paragraphs? One main idea per paragraph 4 Include an introduction and conclusion 6 Support main points with an explanation and then an example 9 Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately 7 Vary your linking phrases using synonyms LEXICAL RESOURCE: 8. 0 9 Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms - Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning 8 Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes GRAMMATICAL RANGE: 8. 0 9 Use a variety of complex and simple sentences 8 Check your writing for errors TASK ACHIEVEMENT: 6. 0 9 Answer all parts of the question - Present relevant ideas 7. 5 Fully explain these ideas 6 Support ideas with relevant, specific examples REST Word Count Upgrade to Premium Check as many essays as you want Analyze highlighted mistakes Use the built-in grammar checker Discover your weaknesses Get suggestions to get a higher score Browse the history of checked essays Become Premium WHAT TO DO NEXT: Submit your essay for checking » Find essays with the same topic View collections of IELTS Writing Samples » Show IELTS Writing Task 2 Topics LOOK AT OTHER ESSAYS: 7 band Traditions are about the past and innovation is about the future, and it has been argued that we need to let go of traditions for the sake of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? What role should traditions have in our lives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Time is changing and progressing towards digitalization, where a large number of works that were manually done are now replaced by automation, and due to that reason all traditions are outdated, and new developments and inventions are welcomed, but the question arises that whether is it going to the right track or not? But, I believe that it is going in the wrong directions. 6 band Every one of us should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Meat is part of the majority of the world population’s diet. More than half of the global population consumes or has consumed meat at least once in their lives. Lately, new research and movements started to shape the way people eat, which increased the number of vegetarian diets worldwide. This point of view claims that a meat based diet can cause health problems. However, in my opinion, there is not enough evidence to support this statement. 8 band New parents should attend a parenting course to learn how to bring up their children well. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? In this changing world, handling kids are becoming more and more challenging each day. Proper use of technology and ideal health guidance are two important factors to be considered of raising a kid. Luckily, different institutions offer parenting course to educate the parent on these, and I, therefore, strongly agree that this education is essential for the married couples who have or expecting kids. 4 band Increasing numbers of students are choosing study aboard. to what extent does this trend benefit the students themselves and the countries involved? what are the drawbacks? In this generation, study is become a major part of all student, espcially oversea study. After secondary school graduation, more than half student will choose their university in foreign country. For now, oversea study is a more popular choosen, it is because they stay in local country for study are too much years, so most of them will choose out of this country to start their new journey in study. 5 band Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can the government ensure that all these people can live together harmoniously? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. In recent years, some of the largest cities in the world have grown even more.
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Samples / Band 6. 5

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Some
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people
feel that manufactures and supermarkets have the responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
of foods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
. Discuss both views and give your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

A huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
of commodities can
be considered
as one of the culprits behind environmental problems. While it
is suggested
that curbing the increase of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
is the responsibility of producers and the store, I advocate that avoiding consumption of
excessively
packaged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
needs to
be taken
into consideration.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sound
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why factories and supermarkets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be responsible for this phenomenon. The
first
explanation is that if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrap
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, customers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
follow.
For example
, when all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
minimize the amount of plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
or optimize the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of biodegradable, recyclable or eco-friendly materials, buyers have no choice, which contributes to the decline of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
. Other than that, it is unnecessary for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to be over-packaged.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
biscuit brands
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrap
each biscuit in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
plastic bag
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
them in a box
instead
of using the box
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

However
, consumers can tackle this issue by limit their consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that are
inordinately
packaged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
manufacturers and supermarkets always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their demand.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, citizens do not have habits to bring their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
baskets when they go shopping. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel well-served, producer and staffs in stores
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrap
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
carefully
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
plastic bags to facilitate the delivery and preservation.
Besides
, if consumers have a tendency to boycott
environmentally
irresponsible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their attitude towards the materials they
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrap
their commodities.

All in all, all customers, producers and stores have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
roles to relieve burden on our planet by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
waste from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
of products.

Submitted by punz1998 on Tue Apr 14 2020

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7

Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more

0

Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer

1

Mistakes

4 paragraphs

274 words

0

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9.

0

5

0

5

Overall
Band Score

COHERENCE AND COHESION: 4. 0

4

Structure your
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answers
in logical paragraphs?

One main
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
per paragraph

4

Include an introduction and conclusion

6

Support main points with an explanation and then an example

9

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Use
cohesive linking words
accurately
and
appropriately


7

Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

LEXICAL RESOURCE: 8. 0

9

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms

Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-


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Use
less common question specific words that
accurately
convey meaning

8

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formation mistakes

GRAMMATICAL RANGE: 8. 0

9

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a variety of complex and simple sentences

8

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your
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writing
for errors

TASK ACHIEVEMENT: 6.
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0 9 Answer
all parts of the question

Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-


Present
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relevant
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ideas


7. 5

Fully
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explain
these
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ideas


6

Support
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with
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Task 2 Topics

LOOK AT OTHER ESSAYS:

7

band

Traditions are about the past and innovation is about the future, and it has
been argued
that we need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
go of traditions for the sake of progress. To what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extent
do you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agree
or disagree with this? What role should traditions have in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
? Give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
answer
and include any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relevant
examples from your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
knowledge or experience.

Time is changing and progressing towards digitalization, where a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of works that were
manually
done are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
replaced by automation, and due to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
all traditions
are outdated
, and new developments and inventions
are welcomed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the question arises that whether is it going to the right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
or not?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I believe that it is going in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
directions.

6

Possible agreement error. The noun 'band' seems to be countable, so consider using: "bands".
band


Every one of us should become a vegetarian
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
eating meat can cause serious health problems. To what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extent
do you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agree
or disagree?

Meat is part of the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
population’s diet. More than half of the global population consumes or has consumed meat at least once in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Lately, new research and movements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to shape the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
eat, which increased the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of vegetarian diets worldwide. This point of view claims that
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "meat".
a meat
based diet can cause health problems.
However
, in my opinion, there is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
evidence to support this statement.

8

band

New parents should attend a parenting course to learn how to bring up their children well. To what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extent
do you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agree
or disagree with this statement?

In this changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, handling kids are becoming more and more challenging each day. Proper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology and ideal health guidance are two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors to
be considered
of raising a kid. Luckily,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
institutions offer parenting course to educate the parent on these, and I,
therefore
,
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agree
that this education is essential for the married couples who have or expecting kids.

4

Possible agreement error. The noun 'band' seems to be countable, so consider using: "bands".
band


Increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
aboard.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extent
does this trend benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
themselves and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
involved?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
what
are the drawbacks?

In this generation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is become
a major part of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
espcially
oversea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. After secondary school graduation, more than half
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
will choose their university in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. For
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, oversea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is a more popular
Possible spelling mistake found.
choosen
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they stay in local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
are too
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
most of them will choose out of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their new journey in study.

5

band

Nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
cosmopolitan cities with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. How can the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ensure that all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together
harmoniously
? Give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
answer
and include any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relevant
examples from your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
knowledge or experience.

In recent years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the largest cities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
have grown even more.
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IELTS essay Sompe people say that supermarkets and manufacturers have the responsibility to reduce the cost of pakiging

Essay
  American English
24 paragraphs
1087 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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