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somewhere instead of going to the university directly. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

somewhere instead of going to the university directly. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? Qwqnw
Is it true that one individual should follow their passion and dream? Likewise, a number of students like to travel and pursue their dream after completion of high school graduation, Meanwhile a number of students like to attend university right after high school. This essay will demonstrate both pros and cons for this variety of believers, It is always a passion that drives success to one's future. a number of family like to travel after high school graduation. Travelling exposes to wide varieties of people, It teaches the differences in culture and exposes to learn myriad of challenges that take place during travelling; it teaches people how to get adjusted within the different sections of regions. For example, If a person travels from Kerala to Jammu and Kashmir he/she will be exposed to contrasting kinds of people living in the society, People witness about the differences in eating cultures and food habits. Likewise, people also like to work after graduation. This teaches how to handle work life and personal life. It exposes people to work industry consequently in the near future. For instance when people work they can be finically independent they don’t have to ask money from their parents Traveling and working exposes us to various contrasting aspects of society, Reverse is also true that people when come back after a gap year. They less likely to attend university classes, Their mind feels the feeling of something missing. They will be behind their friends; there is also chances friends teasing for being a junior to them They less like to grasp things that learned during the previous years, For instance: People when returning to college, they need to take extra classes in fundamentals to remember the formulas and equations to continue their higher education and to compete for their classmates In, Conclusion traveling and working expose to aspects like self-dependent and the chance to expose different people of society. On the other side, it has causes like taking extra classes in Fundamentals, I think should be given their choice to decide to which path they like to consider.
Is it true that one individual should follow their passion and dream?
Likewise
, a number of students like to travel and pursue their dream after completion of high school graduation, Meanwhile a number of students like to attend university right after high school. This essay will demonstrate both pros and cons for this variety of believers,

It is always a passion that drives success to one's future.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
a
number of family like to travel after high school graduation. Travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exposes
to wide varieties of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, It teaches the differences in culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exposes
to learn myriad of challenges that take place during travelling; it teaches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
adjusted within the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sections of regions.
For example
, If a person travels from Kerala to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jammu
and Kashmir he/she will
be exposed
to contrasting kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in the society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
witness about the differences in eating cultures and food habits.
Likewise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
after graduation. This teaches how to handle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
life and personal life. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exposes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
industry
consequently
in the near future.
For instance
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
they can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
finically
independent they don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
ask money from their
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
parents


Traveling and working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exposes
us to various contrasting aspects of society, Reverse is
also
true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back after a gap year. They less likely to attend university classes, Their mind feels the feeling of something missing. They will be behind their friends; there is
also
chances friends teasing for being a junior to them They less like to grasp things that learned during the previous years,
For instance
:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
when returning to college, they need to take extra classes in fundamentals to remember the formulas and equations to continue their higher education and to compete for their
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
classmates


In, Conclusion traveling and working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expose
to aspects like self-dependent and the chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of society. On the other side, it has causes like taking extra classes in Fundamentals, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
their choice to decide to which path they like to consider.
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IELTS essay somewhere instead of going to the university directly. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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