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something about sugar products

something about sugar products WEVxb
The large amount of sugar products used in food manufactures and drink products causes a number of health problems. A proposed solution to this problem is to make these products more expensive to compel people to use less. However, I agree with this opinion, I think there exists another essential factor which should considered highly important to reduce sugar consumption. Making sugar products more costly will obviously have considerable effects on consuming such products as it can persuade massive companies using such products in their goods to diminish sugar usage. This is because unless doing that, such companies would have to increase their products prices noticeably, and this evidently will lead to a dramatic decrease in their income because of demand reduction. As a result, people will use less manufacture with high level of sugar. As examples of countries which experienced positive effects from implementing this method, we can mention to UK and US. They could reduce sugar consumption by 20% in 2018 by using the method. Moreover, this make manufacturers to find a substitute for sugar supplies and this clearly will have tangible influences on public health. An important point however that should be considered here is that, increasing prices tags of sugar products lonely cannot be sufficient to encourage people to sue lesser of such unhealthy things. A crucial factor can be making people aware of the high risks of overusing these nutrients on their health, especially, younger people, as by far they consume more sugar than older ones. As long as general knowledge of community about the devastating effects of sugar products on their health boomed, they will be more considerate about their food choices, and hence, the sugar consumption will decrease remarkably. In conclusion, although making sugar products more expensive is a vital factor, another considerable issue that should be viewed incredibly important is boosting public knowledge about health problems of consuming those products.
The large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in food manufactures and drink
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
causes a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems. A proposed solution to this problem is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
more expensive to compel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
less.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there exists another essential factor which should considered
highly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
consumption.

Making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
more costly will
obviously
have considerable effects on consuming such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
as it can persuade massive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
using such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
to diminish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
usage. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
unless doing that, such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
increase their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
prices
noticeably
, and this
evidently
will lead to a dramatic decrease in their income
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of demand reduction.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
less manufacture with high level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
. As examples of countries which experienced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects from implementing this method, we can mention to UK and US. They could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
consumption by 20% in 2018 by using the method.
Moreover
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
manufacturers to find a substitute for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
supplies and this
clearly
will have tangible influences on public health.

An
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point
however
that should
be considered
here is that, increasing prices tags of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
lonely cannot be sufficient to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to sue lesser of such unhealthy things. A crucial factor can be making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aware of the high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of overusing these nutrients on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
especially
, younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, as by far they consume more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
than older ones. As long as general knowledge of community about the devastating effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
boomed, they will be more considerate about their food choices, and
hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
consumption will decrease
remarkably
.

In conclusion
, although making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
more expensive is a vital factor, another considerable issue that should
be viewed
incredibly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is boosting public knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems of consuming those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
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IELTS essay something about sugar products

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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