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someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck.

someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. gDjg7
The oppinion that whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. I completely disagree with this point of view and this essay will address the reasons for my views as follow. On the one hand, luck is just a small factor impacting on someone's success. Firstly, people can’t just based upon on luck to be successful without any efforts. If a student doesn't study anything but just waits for luck, there is a good chance he will fail his exam. Secondly, nobody can have luck forever. For example, Nick Vujicic who not have any legs or hands but thanks to work hard and effort so he became a famous speaker. On the other hand, I agree that luck can be necessary, some students because of unlucky so they not score enough for their exam but it isn’t the most important factor to achieve success. Firstly, people need to work hardly and make much effort into their job for the success. On the road to success, there are many difficulties, so people need to based upon their legs to overcome them. As Stephen Hawking – a physics professor, although he almost completely paralyzed but he fought against his fate and overcome everything to success. In conclusion, both argurment have their own merits. However, I believe that just with luck isn't enough for success, so people need to work hard and make efforts to succeed.
The
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppinion
that
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
someone achieves their aims is
mostly
by a question of luck. I completely disagree with this point of view and this essay will address the reasons for my views
Did you mean "as follows"?
as follow
.

On the one hand, luck is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
factor impacting on someone's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
The verb 'can't' requires base form of this verb: "base"
based
upon on luck to be successful without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
. If a student doesn't study anything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
waits for luck, there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
chance he will fail his exam.
Secondly
, nobody can have luck forever.
For example
, Nick
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vujicic
who not have any legs or hands
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
thanks to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he became a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
speaker.

On the other hand
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that luck can be necessary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of unlucky
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they not score
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for their exam
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it isn’t the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to
The adverb 'hardly' is usually put before the verb 'work'.
work hardly
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
into their job for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. On the road to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficulties,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to based upon their legs to overcome them. As Stephen Hawking
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
a physics professor, although he almost completely paralyzed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he fought against his fate and overcome everything to success.

In conclusion
, both
Possible spelling mistake found.
argurment
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits.
However
, I believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
with luck isn't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
efforts
to succeed.
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IELTS essay someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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