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Some people think that if a country is already rich, further economic development will not result in its citizens being any happier. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that if a country is already rich, further economic development will not result in its citizens being any happier. m2lY8
It is true that developed countries give people more facilities than developing ones. That is the reason why many believe that they will be happier when working and studying in such costly areas. However, even if I had a chance to live in a more developed one, I would never have a sense of well-being because of the following reasons. There is no doubt that economic growth always companies with the improvement of living standards. It means that those who live in developed societies will get higher-paid jobs, stay in more modern accommodations, and have flashy dinners in luxurious restaurants. Moreover, these people have better opportunities to approach new methods that help them get promotions in their workplaces. However, working in a better working environment will also go with heavier pressure. For example, many people have to stay at work round a clock to find ways or outline competition strategies to compete with other rival companies. Such a situation may be responsible for mental problems for these busy people because they have no room for entertaining or releasing pressure. Additionally, it is difficult for them to communicate and teach their children regularly. Therefore, many kids will feel lonely and play with bad friends. To be worse, some of them may commit crimes because they cannot analyze which action is illegal. In conclusion, although economic development is a wonderful prospect for improving the life quality of people, it cannot guarantee humans’ well-being according to the above explanations.
It is true that
developed countries
give
people
more facilities than developing ones.
That is
the reason why
many
believe that they will be happier when working and studying in such costly areas.
However
, even if I had a chance to
live
in a more developed one, I would never have a sense of well-being
because
of the following reasons.

There is no doubt that economic growth always
companies
with the improvement of living standards. It means that those who
live
in developed societies will
get
higher-paid jobs, stay in more modern accommodations, and have flashy dinners in luxurious restaurants.
Moreover
, these
people
have better opportunities to approach new methods that
help
them
get
promotions in their workplaces.

However
, working in a better working environment will
also
go with
heavier pressure.
For example
,
many
people
have to
stay at work round a clock to find ways or outline competition strategies to compete with other rival
companies
. Such a situation may be responsible for mental problems for these busy
people
because
they have no room for entertaining or releasing pressure.
Additionally
, it is difficult for them to communicate and teach their children
regularly
.
Therefore
,
many
kids will feel lonely and play with
bad
friends. To be worse,
some
of them may commit crimes
because
they cannot analyze which action is illegal.

In conclusion
, although economic development is a wonderful prospect for improving the life quality of
people
, it cannot guarantee humans’ well-being according to the above explanations.
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IELTS essay Some people think that if a country is already rich, further economic development will not result in its citizens being any happier.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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