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Some years ago, i came to a big city, named Tehran. which one of such a good city impress you? 1. hugeness2. traffic3. the people and the way they behave v.1

Some years ago, i came to a big city, named Tehran. which one of such a good city impress you? 1. hugeness2. traffic3. the people and the way they behave v. 1
By and large, the contemporary age is no strange to the notion of the environment surrounding us and its remarkable importance in the modern era. Without paying enough attention to the environment, it depends on chance or exceptional talents of governors that the residents of the country survive in such a polluted world. Notwithstanding differences, in my view, by cleaning the environment and maintaining it as safe as possible, we can expect a better world for the current generation as well as the generation to come. I feel this way for two main reasons which I will explore in the following paragraphs. To begin with, the human beings are getting a lot of their needs through the environment. As a matter of fact, the air we breathe and the water we drink depend on the environment and how it is clean to be consumed by us. The fishes in the rivers and the terrestrial animals we hunt in the wildlife are the striking parts of our environment. Should we take no notice of maintaining the environment in a stunning condition, we cannot find our necessities and we will die from starvation. In addition, by polluting the environment through our cars or factories making a lot of pollution in the region around them, the health of the people would be in danger. Plenty of diseases and illnesses have been emerged by the damaged environment. My grandfather is a good example of this. Some years ago, he came to the city of Isfahan, which is polluted places in Iran. While he was in good physical condition as he arrived, he is suffering from heart diseases and breathing problems at the moment. Secondly, based on the claims asserted by the scientists in the recent years, by having a cracking environment, the amount of stress would be decreased. In fact, a wide range of people in the big cities like New York and Tehran is struggling with a high rate of stress, thereby decreasing their positive function in their career. The students have trouble learning the points mentioned by the teachers, and the housewives have troubles with their tasks, cleaning the house, buying the ingredients and so on. To be more specific, they all have some troubles releasing their stress level and get relaxed. By having a good place, such as a park in the neighborhood for hanging on with the friends and having fun with the relatives, they can come up with some stunning solutions to reduce their stress level. My family and I go to a beach, which is 80 miles away from our home just be to de-stressed and get relaxed in end of the month. Should we have not such a place to get relaxed for sometimes, it is so unlikely to survive in the hectic style of the city we are living in. All in all, by having a good environment and trying to keep that in a fine condition for a long time, not only can we reduce our stress level properly, but also live for a longer time.
By and large, the contemporary age is no strange to the notion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
surrounding us and its remarkable importance in the modern era. Without paying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
attention to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, it depends on chance or exceptional talents of governors that the residents of the country survive in such a polluted world. Notwithstanding differences, in my view, by cleaning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and maintaining it as safe as possible, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
a better world for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation
as well
as the generation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
. I feel this way for two main reasons which I will explore in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the human beings are getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
their needs through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. As a matter of fact, the air we breathe and the water we drink depend on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and how it is clean to
be consumed
by us. The fishes in the rivers and the terrestrial animals we hunt in the wildlife are the striking parts of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. Should we take no notice of maintaining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
in a stunning condition, we cannot find our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
necessities and
we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
from starvation.
In addition
, by polluting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
through our cars or factories making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pollution in
Consider using "the surrounding region".
the region around them
, the health of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would be in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Plenty
of diseases and illnesses have
been emerged
by the damaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. My grandfather is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
example of this.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
years ago, he came to the city of Isfahan, which
is polluted
places in Iran. While he was in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
physical condition as he arrived, he is suffering from heart diseases and breathing problems at the moment.

Secondly
, based on the claims asserted by the scientists in the recent years, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a cracking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
would
be decreased
. In fact, a wide range of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities like New York and Tehran is struggling with a high rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
, thereby decreasing their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
function in their career. The students have trouble learning the points mentioned by the teachers, and the housewives have troubles with their tasks, cleaning the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, buying the ingredients and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. To be more specific, they all have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
troubles releasing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
level and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
relaxed. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
place, such as a park in the neighborhood for hanging on with the friends and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
fun with the relatives, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stunning solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
level. My family and I go to a beach, which is
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
80 miles
away from our home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
be to de-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
relaxed in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the month. Should we have not such a place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
relaxed for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
unlikely to survive in the hectic style of the city we are living in.

All in all, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
that in a fine condition for a long time, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
level
properly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for a longer time.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some years ago, i came to a big city, named Tehran. which one of such a good city impress you? 1. hugeness2. traffic3. the people and the way they behave v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
511 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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