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Some work harder than others.Why is this?Is it positive?

Some work harder than others. Why is this? Is it positive? o658b
In order to reach different destinations in their lives, people work hard and smart. Some tend to work harder than others to overcome financial barriers and achieve stability in life and some to gather experience and knowledge. There are a plethora of beneficial elements to this which will be illustrated below. To begin with, one evident reason for hard work is to create wealth and achieve financial stability in life. In other words, in the prevailing competitive environment, the academic qualification alone itself will not aid a person to reach his goals hence working hard towards the specified objectives is indispensable. This means that some take additional pressure and responsibilities than others so that they can have a better competitive advantage and higher probability of securing themselves. For instance, it can be seen that many people employee in 02 different jobs or work more than specified working hours to reach their destination. As a result, they are compensated better and reach faster to their hierarchy of needs in a short period than others who do not take much effort in doing so. This has numerous beneficial factors and one of the benefits is that the people who work harder than others have more opportunities in securing themselves in various perspectives of life. As indicated above, if proper financial targets are achieved, then it makes their life easier and plan the future in a safer environment not only for them but also for their future generation. As per Maslow's Hierarchy, there are various needs in life such as basic, safety, esteem, and self-actualization needs. By having sufficient wealth, the possibility of achieving all the above needs is not complicated. To conclude, people work hard to fulfill their monetary needs and the positive side to this perception is that it assists in securing their life for them as well as for their future generation. If everybody works harder, it will not only contribute to their personnel wealth but also the national domestic product as well.
In order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
destinations in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
and smart.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
harder than others to overcome financial barriers and achieve stability in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
to gather experience and knowledge. There are a plethora of beneficial elements to this which will
be illustrated
below.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one evident reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is to create wealth and achieve financial stability in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, in the prevailing competitive environment, the academic qualification alone itself will not aid a person to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
his goals
hence
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
towards the specified objectives is indispensable. This means that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
take additional pressure and responsibilities than others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can have a better competitive advantage and higher probability of securing themselves.
For instance
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
employee in 02
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
jobs or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more than specified working hours to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
their destination.
As a result
, they
are compensated
better and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
faster to their hierarchy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
in a short period than others who do not take much effort in doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

This has numerous beneficial factors and one of the benefits is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
harder than others have more opportunities in securing themselves in various perspectives of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. As indicated above, if proper financial targets
are achieved
, then it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easier and plan the future in a safer environment not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for their future generation. As per Maslow's Hierarchy, there are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
such as basic, safety, esteem, and self-actualization
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
. By having sufficient wealth, the possibility of achieving all the above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
is not complicated.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to fulfill their monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side to this perception is that it assists in securing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for them
as well
as for their future generation. If everybody works harder, it will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
contribute to their personnel wealth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the national domestic product
as well
.
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IELTS essay Some work harder than others. Why is this? Is it positive?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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