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Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development? WMpW
Online education is a comparatively new trend and thousands of educational institutes have already embraced this method to offer their courses. While some negative aspects cannot be ignored, advantages of this trend far outweight its demerits. To begin with, many universities have offered e-learning and short courses which can bring positive impacts towards society. The widespread of the internet makes it handy for people to enrol in a courses regardless of the distance and time. For the same reason this trend has encouraged numbers of students of various age groups to attend universities and achieve the degree of education they desire. For example, according to recent research published by University of Washington, the number of students who enroled for various education institutes from 2018 to 2021 has increased by 30% due to online courses that are offered by those institutes. Following this, the research has predicted that this may benefit to development of US in the future because bigger percentage of population will be educated and will attain higher degree of education. The downside of this trend is lack of interaction between teacher and student which is imperative for full learning experience. Most students memorize better if visual and audotory demonstration of the teacher is included, it helps them to absorb the lecture and it has major impact on learning progress. From my experience, in the nursing studies, if blood collection is only taught by theory without demonstration and practice, the lecture would be incomplete and incomprehensible. Hence, this kind of demonstration is imperative for many professions and it cannot be taught online. To conclude, technological advancements in education, especially online education, is a great leap towards a world without illiteracy and unemployment. Hence, this is such a positive development though it lacks a teacher's direct supervision and demonstration for certain professions that require practical learning.
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is a
comparatively
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
and thousands of educational institutes have already embraced this method to offer their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
, advantages of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
far
Possible spelling mistake found.
outweight
its demerits.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
universities have offered e-learning and short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
which can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts towards society.
The phrase 'The widespread of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'The' and 'of'.
The widespread of
the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it handy for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to enrol in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
regardless of the distance and time. For the same reason this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
has encouraged numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of various age groups to attend universities and achieve the degree of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
they desire.
For example
, according to recent research published by University of Washington, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "enrolled", the past tense form of the verb 'enrol'?
enroled
for various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
institutes from 2018 to 2021 has increased by 30% due to online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
that
are offered
by those institutes. Following this, the research has predicted that this may benefit to development of US in the future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
bigger percentage of population will
be educated
and will attain higher degree of education.

The downside of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
is lack of interaction between teacher and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
which is imperative for full learning experience. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
memorize better if visual and
Possible spelling mistake found.
audotory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demonstration
of the teacher
is included
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to absorb the lecture and it has major impact on learning progress. From my experience, in the nursing studies, if blood collection is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
taught by theory without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demonstration
and practice, the lecture would be incomplete and incomprehensible.
Hence
, this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demonstration
is imperative for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
professions and it cannot
be taught
online.

To conclude
, technological advancements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
especially
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, is a great leap towards a world without illiteracy and unemployment.
Hence
, this is such a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development though it lacks a teacher's direct supervision and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demonstration
for certain professions that require practical learning.
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IELTS essay Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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