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Some universities focus on having excellent libraries, laboratories and other facilities. Others focus on hiring the most successful and qualified professors. Which system do you think benefits students more, and why? Include details and examples in your v.1

Some universities focus on having excellent libraries, laboratories and other facilities. Others focus on hiring the most successful and qualified professors. Which system do you think benefits students more, and why? Include details and examples in your v. 1
Some students prefer to live in university dormitories. However, other students choose to live in apartments in the community. I think both of these options have advantages. In this essay, I will give my reasons to support my view. From the one side, living in a dormitory has many benefits. First of all, for a foreign student, it is a good chance to improve his or her communication skills and find new friends. Second of all, a dormitory has many useful facilities such as libraries, a canteen, Internet access, etc. In addition to these practical benefits living in a dormitory is often cheaper. So, it helps students save some money what is important at the beginning of their independent life. Finally, living in a dormitory gives students the opportunity to ask for help each other if something was not clear on the lecture presented in a class. This, in turn, leads to higher grades. Also, students have many common subject and interests to discuss with each other. So, basically, living in a dormitory helps students to become more sociable and good team-players and gain new knowledge and experience by use of lab, libraries and group discussion. From the other side, living in apartments in the community also have a few benefits. Students can have more privacy and, also, they can choose a community according to its convenience and location. It is sometimes may be an essential because of a person's job. In conclusion, I think that living in a dormitory brings students more benefits than it does living in a community. Students learn to get along with each other, be ready to help and make friends.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dormitories
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in apartments in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
both of these options have advantages. In this essay, I will give my reasons to support my view.

From the one side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dormitory
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, for a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and find new friends. Second of all, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dormitory
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
useful facilities such as libraries, a canteen, Internet access, etc.
In addition
to these practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dormitory
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
cheaper.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
at the beginning of their independent life.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dormitory
gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
if something was not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
on the lecture presented in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. This, in turn, leads to higher grades.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
common subject and interests to discuss with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
basically
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dormitory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to become more sociable and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
team-players and gain new knowledge and experience by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of lab, libraries and group discussion.

From the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in apartments in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
also
have a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can have more privacy and,
also
, they can choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
according to its convenience and location. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
may be an essential
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a person's job.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dormitory
brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
than it does
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
learn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, be ready to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some universities focus on having excellent libraries, laboratories and other facilities. Others focus on hiring the most successful and qualified professors. Which system do you think benefits students more, and why? Include details and examples in your v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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