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Some traditional Thais feel that sex education in Thai high schools is inappropriate. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of teaching sex education in school and state your opinion

Some traditional Thais feel that sex education in Thai high schools is inappropriate. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of teaching sex education in school and state your opinion QRLbx
Sex education, right now is normal for teenagers. Many movies and series include that content and it much more than before. Moreover now their is a series call sex education. To said that teenagers do not have to know about sex or learn about it. There are many girls that are pregnant and still just a student. We should tell them how to protect themselves instead of blocking the information that they need to know. Teaching student about sex have many advantage. First, students know what to do to duel with the emotional. Now, there are crimes about outrage and killings of girls. If we teach high school how to duel with those feelings, it can inhibit this crime that Thailand has been through for ten years. Second, advise students to get pregnant by accident. These days, many girls get pregnant at an inappropriate age by boys. Girl teenagers have to know the information about sex to fight with thing that boy said to trust them by don’t use comdoms. On the other hand, there is a disadvantage also. Every thing has bad and good sides. Firstly, it can make teenagers feel curious to see the truth. Sometimes, if the teacher did not teach the student well or has some secret about it, it can make the student want to know the truth. High school students might threaten girl students to do what they want. In conclusion, there is a disadvantage and advantage about sex education. But, it should be good if high school teaching sex education to students. However, they are still the future of the country and it can reduce the crime of outraged girls. It can also reduce girl students from getting pregnant while they're still a student.
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Sex
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education
, right
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now
is normal for
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teenagers
.
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Many
movies and series include that content and it much more than
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before
.
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Moreover
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now
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their
is a series call
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sex
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education
. To said that
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teenagers
do not
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have to
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know
about
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sex
or learn about it. There are
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many
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girls
that are pregnant and
still
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just
a
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student
. We should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
them how to protect themselves
instead
of blocking the information that they need to know.

Teaching
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student
about
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sex
have
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many advantage
.
First
,
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students
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know
what to do to duel with the emotional.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, there are crimes about outrage and killings of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
. If we teach high school how to duel with those feelings, it can inhibit this crime that Thailand has been through for ten years. Second, advise
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students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
pregnant by accident. These days,
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many
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girls
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get
pregnant at an inappropriate age by boys.
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Girl
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teenagers
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have to
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know
the information about
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sex
to fight with thing that boy said to trust them by don’t
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use
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comdoms
.

On the other hand
, there is a disadvantage
also
. Every thing has
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bad
and
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good
sides.
Firstly
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
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teenagers
feel curious to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the truth.
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Sometimes
, if the teacher did not teach the
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student
well or has
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some
secret about it, it can
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make
the
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student
want to
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know
the truth. High school
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students
might threaten
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girl
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students
to do what they want.

In conclusion
, there is a disadvantage and advantage about
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sex
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education
.
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But
, it should be
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good
if high school teaching
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sex
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education
to
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students
.
However
, they are
still
the future of the country and it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the crime of outraged
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girls
. It can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from getting pregnant while they're
still
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
.
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IELTS essay Some traditional Thais feel that sex education in Thai high schools is inappropriate. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of teaching sex education in school and state your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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