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Some today argue that schools are no longer necessary because children can learn so much from the internet and be educated at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some today argue that schools are no longer necessary because children can learn so much from the internet and be educated at home. b1Oq
There is an opinion that due to the availability of the information in the Internet, children can be released from necessity to visit schools and be educated at home. I cannot agree with this opinion in full since I believe that traditional school is a serious institution, which was developing decades after decades and has worked out the most effective procedures aimed to teach. I believe that online studies can be very effective, especially for adult students, who get higher education, and who already know the methods of learning, who have some purpose to reach, and who have already trained and mastered their diligence and patience. Younger pupils predominantly are lacking these qualities, hence traditional school is more favorable for them, because teachers in school have more opportunities to provide necessary face-to face attention to each student. The year 2020 has proved that the online education for kids is possible, but at the same time it revealed the problems of such education as well as perspectives. Taking the situation in Kazakhstan as an example, I’d like to describe some details explaining why online education proved itself ineffective. The main problem that the educational system faced was material ill-preparedness. A lot of families in Kazakhstan still have no computer and Internet access at home. Some of children were studying through a mobile phone. It goes without saying, that such learning cannot be qualitative. The invention of new online teaching programs forced teachers to spend more time on preparation for the lessons and learning of these programs instead of paying attention to the students’ performance. Parents had to interfere in the process of learning, helping their kids to accept the materials. No one was satisfied with such situation. Besides, lack of communication with the peers influenced the social development and education of children. Another aspect in favor of traditional school is that it provides the knowledge not only in main disciplines like Math, Chemistry or Physics, but also pays attention to physical, psychological, cultural development of the students. Online education would hardly be able to implement this. Unconditionally the online learning has a lot of advantages. It is very convenient for students who have no opportunity to visit traditional school because of the remoted location or physical disabilities. Such learning teaches you to be more self-determined and independent. Online education has big future in my mind, but probably in the form of personal education. To conclude, I’d like to say that traditional school is very effective and practical way of education in all aspects. Notwithstanding the fact that online learning is developing at a furious pace, it still cannot meet all of requirement of modern society, and apparently won’t be able to in the nearest future.
There is an opinion that due to the availability of the information
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the Internet".
in the Internet
, children can
be released
from necessity to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
be educated
at home. I cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion in full since I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is a serious institution, which was developing decades after decades and has worked out the most effective procedures aimed to teach. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
studies can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effective,
especially
for adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
already know the methods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
purpose to reach, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have already trained and mastered their diligence and patience. Younger pupils
predominantly
are lacking these qualities,
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is more favorable for them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
teachers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have more opportunities to provide necessary face-to face attention to each student.

The year 2020 has proved that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for kids is possible,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time it revealed the problems of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as well
as perspectives. Taking the situation in Kazakhstan as an example, I’d like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
explaining why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
proved itself ineffective.

The main problem that the educational system faced was material ill-preparedness.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
families in Kazakhstan
still
have no computer and Internet access at home.
After 'Some of', you should use 'the' ("Some of the children") or simply say "Some children".
Some of children
were studying through a mobile phone. It goes without saying, that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
cannot be qualitative. The invention of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
teaching programs forced teachers to spend more time on preparation for the lessons and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
of these programs
instead
of paying attention to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
performance. Parents had to interfere in the process of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
, helping their kids to accept the materials. No one
was satisfied
with such situation.
Besides
, lack of communication with the peers influenced the social development and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of children. Another aspect in favor of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is that it provides the knowledge not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in main disciplines like Math, Chemistry or Physics,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
pays attention to physical, psychological, cultural development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
would hardly be able to implement this.

Unconditionally
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have no opportunity to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the remoted location or physical disabilities. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
teaches you to be more self-determined and independent.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
future in my mind,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
probably
in the form of personal education.

To conclude
, I’d like to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effective and practical way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in all aspects. Notwithstanding the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is developing at a furious pace, it
still
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
Consider using "all requirement" or "all of the requirement".
all of requirement
of modern society, and
apparently
won’t be able to in the nearest future.
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IELTS essay Some today argue that schools are no longer necessary because children can learn so much from the internet and be educated at home.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
454 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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