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Some think the government should take care of people suffering from problems such as unemployment and homelessness, while others don’t. Do you agree or disagree.

Some think the government should take care of people suffering from problems such as unemployment and homelessness, while others don’t. n6Y2R
Unemployment and homelessness has been a burning issue for every developing country and it is argued that government should take care of this issue. At the same time, some think the opposite. In my opinion government should proactively participate to overcome this problem. Here are 2 major points in support of my viewpoint Every individual cannot generate job opportunities, he can only compete for the job with the skill but on the other hand government can bring opportunities. We elect them in the hope of the fulfillment of some basic promises made by them which includes to provide jobs and shelter. Not only this every government want their country to be as first world country and eradicating these issues is the first step towards achieving that. This doesn’t means that government should take multiple loans to eradicate this problem. This brings me to the next point, which is they collects taxes from working class with the motive of utilizing the same in the development of the country. They can use the taxes for creating new schemes and projects which can generate jobs for both skilled and unskilled workers. When people will start earning, the issue of homelessness will be automatically resolved. For example establishing more Social Economic Zones can attract more industries, leading to more job opportunities. In conclusion, government is major player which can help in eradicating this issue and this is why we elected them. And we are not saying that they should built them homes but at least they can generate job opportunities because if people will get employment they can afford food and shelter, hence solving the issue of homelessness.
Unemployment and homelessness has been a burning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
for every developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and it
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take care of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
. At the same time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the opposite. In my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
proactively
participate to overcome this problem. Here are 2 major points in support of my viewpoint

Every individual cannot generate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities, he can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
compete for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the other hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can bring opportunities. We elect them in the hope of the fulfillment of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic promises made by them which includes to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and shelter. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
want their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to be as
first
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and eradicating these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
is the
first
step towards achieving that.

This doesn’t
The verb 'doesn't' requires base form of this verb: "mean"
means
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take multiple loans to eradicate this problem. This brings me to the
next
point, which is they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "collect"
collects
taxes from working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
with the motive of utilizing the same in the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the taxes for creating new schemes and projects which can generate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for both skilled and unskilled workers. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
earning, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
of homelessness will be
automatically
resolved.
For example
establishing more Social Economic Zones can attract more industries, leading to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is major player which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in eradicating this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
and this is why we elected them. And we are not saying that they should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "build"
built
them homes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at least they can generate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employment they can afford food and shelter,
hence
solving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
of homelessness.
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IELTS essay Some think the government should take care of people suffering from problems such as unemployment and homelessness, while others don’t.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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