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Some think that government should tax unhealthy foods to encourage people to eat healthier. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some think that government should tax unhealthy foods to encourage people to eat healthier. E3lDL
Well nowadays all the people are concerned about their body fitness because of rising health disorders. Due to which some people lay stress on idea that imposing tax on junk foods may prove to be successful in motivating the populace to stay fit. Whereas, i believe that this would not be an effective measure to cope up with this issue. Viewing the present scenario youth's central area of focus is better health structure, Than also they get diverted towards other junk foods and expensive liquors. Being habitual for certain food will arise more curosity to purchase even high duty products. Similarly by imposing tax on unhealthy food will not prove out to be successful rather it will increase the tax liability of a person. For instance, government levys nearly 70 excise on liquors in order to reduce its consumption among population. Somehow authorities failed to do so because of people habit of eating unhealthy food. Thus imposing tax on junk foods will not lower its consumption instead it would increase tax liability. Moreover, levying heavy duties on unhealthy food will create a social difference in society by differentiating rich and poor or middle class families. More wealthy people will continue availing the services or junk foods even at higher prices but the other group like middle class family budget restrict them from buying highly taxed commodities. In conclusion imposing high taxes will increase tax liability of individual and create a social difference among people in society.
Well nowadays all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are concerned
about their body fitness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of rising health disorders. Due to which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imposing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
may prove to be successful in motivating the populace to stay fit.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that this would not be an effective measure to cope up with this issue.

Viewing the present scenario youth's central area of focus is better health structure, Than
also
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
diverted towards other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and expensive liquors. Being habitual for certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will arise more
Possible spelling mistake found.
curosity
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
even high duty products.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Similarly
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imposing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will not prove out to be successful
rather
it will increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
liability of a person.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "levies", the plural form of the noun 'levy'?
levys
nearly
70 excise on liquors in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
its consumption among population. Somehow authorities failed to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
habit of eating unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imposing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
will not lower its consumption
instead
it would increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
liability.

Moreover
, levying heavy duties on unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will create a social difference in society by differentiating rich and poor or middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
families. More wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will continue availing the services or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
even at higher prices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the other group like middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
family budget restrict them from buying
highly
taxed

commodities.

In conclusion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imposing
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
will increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
liability of individual and create a social difference among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in society.
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IELTS essay Some think that government should tax unhealthy foods to encourage people to eat healthier.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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