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Internationals entertainers, including sports personalities, often get paid millions of dollars in one year. In your view, with widespread poverty in the world, are these huge earning justified?

Internationals entertainers, including sports personalities, often get paid millions of dollars in one year. In your view, with widespread poverty in the world, are these huge earning justified? Kwn9L
Nowadays people who work as internationals entertainers have an enormous salary up to millions of dollars a year. However, the rife of destitution trigger a question that is proper or need to consider. I can't disallow people to pay and get paid on the huge money but I can stand up for contribution and donation alleviate poverty in this world. Even though, artists and sports stars able to aid the impoverished people through their salary, such as make a charity, a sponsor to the government and be a volunteer. If entertainers willing to contribute to help the poor people through their large wage they can do many things. Firstly, make a charity for children who have not money to school. For instance, the entertainer makes a charity for unschooled children in the world. Not only give money but also books, the uniform and shoes. Secondly, they can assist the government to offer foods, clean water and clothes. Finally, they can be a volunteer, whether establish a volunteer group or participate on the existed group. Nevertheless, as an entertainer, they have a different reputation and a lifestyle. There is an artist who decides to waste money. For example, many artists do surgical face or body that needs much money. Obviously, in this case, poverty will be increase and many people starving. I don't really have a strong opinion about the entertainer shouldn't get plentiful of salary, while the poverty everywhere, but I believe they can be a part to solve the destitution in their own way. In conclusion, the entertainer reserve a right to gain large wage, they able to help poor people and they can be a marvellous star.
Nowadays
people
who work as internationals
entertainers
have an enormous salary up to millions of dollars a year.
However
, the rife of destitution trigger a question
that is
proper or need to consider.

I can't disallow
people
to pay and
get
paid on the huge
money
but
I can stand up for contribution and donation alleviate poverty in this world.

Even though
, artists and sports stars able to aid the impoverished
people
through their salary, such as
make
a charity, a sponsor to the
government
and be a volunteer.

If
entertainers
willing to contribute to
help
the poor
people
through their large wage they can do
many
things.
Firstly
,
make
a charity for children who have not
money
to school.
For instance
, the
entertainer
makes
a charity for unschooled children in the world. Not
only
give
money
but
also
books, the uniform and shoes.
Secondly
, they can assist the
government
to offer foods, clean water and clothes.
Finally
, they can be a volunteer, whether establish a volunteer group or participate on the existed group.

Nevertheless
, as an
entertainer
, they have a
different
reputation and a lifestyle. There is an artist who decides to waste
money
.
For example
,
many
artists do surgical face or body that needs much
money
.
Obviously
,
in this case
, poverty will be increase and
many
people
starving.

I don't
really
have a strong opinion about the
entertainer
shouldn't
get
plentiful of salary, while the poverty everywhere,
but
I believe they can be a part to solve the destitution in their
own
way.

In conclusion
, the
entertainer
reserve a right to gain large wage,
they
able to
help
poor
people and
they can be a
marvellous
star.
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IELTS essay Internationals entertainers, including sports personalities, often get paid millions of dollars in one year. In your view, with widespread poverty in the world, are these huge earning justified?

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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