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Some think drawings and paintings are as important as other subjects and they should be made compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some think drawings and paintings are as important as other subjects and they should be made compulsory in high school education. 0dY3
Arts subjects as paintings and drawings are significant as many other courses. I agree that those subjects should be compulsive in high school for many reasons. I will discuss them in this report. It is important for students to know how to draw or paint since many jobs sometimes require special skills to conduct specific tasks. For example, doctors should extremely be aware of the the shapes of different parts of the body, so they have to explain to their patients in order to cure them. On the other hand, students should be explore to a wide range of subjects, yet they can decide what they good at because large number of pupils are skilled at some areas but they do not know how to improve them or even they ignore that they are professional than they expected. So paintings and drawings courses not only learn students but open their minds to different fields of study that might benefit them in their future and career life. To conclude, arts subjects are considered to be as very important as other courses. I agree paintings and drawings has to be compulsive in high school because they help students in their career path and also teach them to explore their buried skills.
Arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
as paintings and drawings are significant as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other courses. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should be compulsive in high school for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons. I will discuss them in this report. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to know how to draw or paint since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
jobs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
require special
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to conduct specific tasks.
For example
, doctors should
extremely
be aware of
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
shapes of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the body,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
to their patients in order to cure them.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should be
Consider using the past participle "explored"?
explore
to a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
yet
they can decide what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
large number of pupils
are skilled
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
them or even they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
that they are professional than they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
paintings and drawings courses not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
open their minds to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields of study that might benefit them in their future and career life.
To conclude
, arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are considered
to be as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as other courses. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
paintings and drawings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be compulsive in high school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in their career path and
also
teach them to explore their buried
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
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IELTS essay Some think drawings and paintings are as important as other subjects and they should be made compulsory in high school education.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
209 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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