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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Attending a live performance (for example, a play, concert, or sporting event) is more enjoyable than watching the same event on the television. use specific reasons and examples to support opinion.

Attending a live performance (for example, a play, concert, or sporting event) is more enjoyable than watching the same event on the television. use specific reasons and examples to support opinion. NR70
I express my solidarity towaards the idea that being an audience of live events have greater level of satisfaction than viewing those same programs on a TV. First of all, the live events have better engagement of all the senses. When we watch programs on television we tend to use our eyes and ears but live event stimulate all our senses. Can you feel mini-tremours or vibration when all spectators jump in excitment if you were watching it on TV? Secondly, live performances allows its participants to be fully engaged in the performance. We are easily distracted by daily chores or other channels avaiable as an alternative when we watch programs on TV. Lastly, live events give you opportunity to feel being a part of the bigger community and chance to network. You are more likely to meet like minded people who have similar choice of art, music or sports. A bond between supporters of sporting teams in a stadium is worth an experience which is not a possibility while watching matches on the TV. Alternatively, some people favour television broadcasts pertaining of its benifits over going to live event. In the busy life schedule and heavy traffic of modern societies it is a challenge to spare time to travel and attain the live programs. Comperatively, live performances are expensive than watching them on TV. Television broadcasts do not charge extra for viewing final match of FIFA world Cup once you pay their one time subscription fees in contrast it will cost you a fortune to attain them in person. Eventhough, there are definite benifits and drawbacks on both alternatives being discussed, I personally prefer live performance over TV broadcast for the better stimulating experience that it can produce.
I express my solidarity
Possible spelling mistake found.
towaards
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that being an audience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
have greater level of satisfaction than viewing those

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
same
programs on a TV.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
have better engagement of all the senses. When we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
programs on television we tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
our eyes

and ears
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
stimulate all our senses. Can you feel
Possible spelling mistake found.
mini-tremours
or vibration when all spectators jump in
Possible spelling mistake found.
excitment
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
if


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
you
were watching it on TV?
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
performances
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
its participants to be
fully
engaged in the performance. We are
easily


distracted by daily chores or other channels
Possible spelling mistake found.
avaiable
as an alternative when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
programs on TV.
Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
give

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
you
opportunity to feel being a part of the bigger community and chance to network. You are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
like minded
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
who


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
have
similar choice of art, music or sports. A bond between supporters of sporting teams in a stadium is worth

an experience which is not a possibility while watching matches on the TV.

Alternatively
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
television broadcasts pertaining of its
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifits
over going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.

In the busy life schedule and heavy traffic of modern societies it is a challenge to spare time to travel and attain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
programs.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Comperatively
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
performances are
Use "(expensive)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
expensive
than watching them on TV. Television broadcasts do not charge extra for viewing
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
final


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
match
of
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
FIFA world Cup
once you pay their one time subscription fees
in contrast
it will cost you a fortune to attain them in person.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Eventhough
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifits
and drawbacks on both alternatives
being discussed
, I
personally
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
performance

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
over
TV broadcast for the better stimulating experience that it can produce.
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IELTS essay Attending a live performance (for example, a play, concert, or sporting event) is more enjoyable than watching the same event on the television. use specific reasons and examples to support opinion.

Essay
  American English
12 paragraphs
289 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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