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Some systems require students to specialize in a limited range of subjects from the age of fifteen. Other systems require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school. What are the benefits of these two education systems and which is better?

Due to cut-throat competition, now it has become indispensable for high school students to set priorities either specialize in a limited range of subjects or focus on a variety of subjects. Both education systems have their own merits according to the mental abilities and interest of the students; but, I consider specialize in some subjects have great benefits as they will become expert in the respective field and it will ease their burden of study. First off, if teenagers study a limited number of subjects, they will become veterans in their respective fields and will have thorough knowledge. Eventually, it will be easier for them to select any occupation and they will be more satisfied with their employment. For example, high school students mostly remain in dilemma in the selection of subjects in which they want to make their career. If they read a limited number of subjects, it will be easier for them to choose subjects according to their interest. So, the yearly study makes them perfect in their fields. On the other hand, studying a variety of subjects will make the students jack of all trades but master of none. So all the time, they will remain stressed or worried and force themselves to be rote-learner and as such, they will not be able to exhibit their potentialities in any one of the subjects. While making a selection of career, they remain indecisive and dissatisfied with the job in the long run. By looking at these two education systems, I think studying a limited number of subjects is lucrative for students as it would make them transparent about their career and more satisfied in their life. Besides, it will ease the burden of the students as they will not become bookworms and do a study with great enthusiasm. In conclusion, Both education systems have their own benefits but doing a study of a limited number of subjects is more beneficial for making them expert and easing their burden. They will be more satisfied than the students who study a variety of subjects.
Due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
-throat competition,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
indispensable for high school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to set priorities either specialize in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limited
range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
or focus on a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. Both education systems have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits according to the mental abilities and interest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, I consider specialize in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
have great benefits as they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
expert in the respective
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
field and
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
their burden of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
First
off, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
veterans in their respective fields and will have thorough knowledge.
Eventually
, it will be easier for them to select any
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
occupation and
they will be more satisfied with their employment.
For example
, high school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
mostly
remain in dilemma in the selection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in which they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their career. If they read a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, it will be easier for them to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
according to their interest.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the yearly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them perfect in their fields.
On the other hand
, studying a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
jack of all trades
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
master of none.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
all the time, they will remain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
or worried and force themselves to be rote-learner and as such, they will not be able to exhibit their potentialities in any one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. While making a selection of career, they remain indecisive and dissatisfied with the job in the long run.

By looking at these two education systems, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
studying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is lucrative for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as it would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them transparent about their career and more satisfied in their life.
Besides
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the burden of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as they will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
bookworms and do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
with great enthusiasm.

In conclusion
, Both education systems have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
doing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is more beneficial for making them expert and easing their burden. They will be more satisfied than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
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IELTS essay Some systems require students to specialize in a limited range of subjects from the age of fifteen. Other systems require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school. What are the benefits of these two education systems and which is better?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
344 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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