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Some suggest that young people should take a job between

Some suggest that young people should take a job between Yw37j
Youngsters nowadays tend to work a year or twilight after they graduate from highschool. Many think that it is beneficial for them, while others don't like this idea. There are many advantages and disadvantages. I will discuss both views in the paragraph below. On the one hand, working before entering university has several benefits for young people. First, they will be experienced with practical skills. They will find it easy to work with others, learn how to manage time and their own money. They will learn to socialize with people, while others are already troubled by reports and assignments. However, there are also a lot of students forced to work because they are financially incapable and did not get scholarships. Therefore they need to work hard to earn money for their university tuition. In addition, some students also work because they want to know their passion, what they like and are capable of. So they do not choose the wrong major at university. On the other hand, some argue that they need to go straight to university after high school. They believe that by doing that, they can finish and get a degree faster too. Thus they will also get a good job at a prestigious company faster. That means they get bigger salaries and their economy will be a lot more stable than those who work part time. To summarize, I found that the benefits of working before college is far greater than a few disadvantages. Students can work first then study or they can study right away. Thus, they must continue studying to widen their knowledge.
Youngsters nowadays tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
a year or twilight after they graduate from
Possible spelling mistake found.
highschool
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is beneficial for them, while others don't like this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages and disadvantages. I will discuss both views in the paragraph below.

On the one hand, working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
entering university has several benefits for young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
First
, they will
be experienced
with practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. They will find it easy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with others, learn how to manage time and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
money. They will learn to socialize with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, while others are already troubled by reports and assignments.
However
, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
students forced to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
financially
incapable and did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
scholarships.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
they need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to earn money for their university tuition.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to know their passion, what they like and are capable of.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they do not choose the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
major at university.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that they need to go straight to university after high school. They believe that by doing that, they can finish and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a degree faster too.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
they will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job at a prestigious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
faster. That means they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bigger salaries and their economy will be a lot more stable than those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
.

To summarize
, I found that the benefits of working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
college is far greater than a few disadvantages. Students can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
first
then
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
study or
they can study right away.
Thus
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
continue studying to widen their knowledge.
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IELTS essay Some suggest that young people should take a job between

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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