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Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? oRVXB
As the population of the planet Earth grows, individuals worldwide are facing a shortage of water, food, and fuel. Overpopulation may lead to detrimental effects such as over-consumption along with overfishing and overhunting, the farming impact causing deforestation, and without a doubt more pollution. Fortunately, every problem has a solution. Education could be the most efficient tool to overcome the overpopulation challenge. Below, the following essay will demonstrate the consequences and solutions of overpopulation. On the one hand, overpopulation has diverse drawbacks. As the number of citizens increases, so does the demand for food, water, and fuel. In the case of food supply, people tend to practice overfishing, overhunting, and in general, they over consume products. It is a tendency because it is a need. Following this further, due to the massive consumption genetic modified food was invented, causing today’s loss of biodiversity because modified crops affect wildlife. Likewise, more individuals are equal to more pollution. To go to work and practice many other activities people need to use transportation. Hence, more fuel is on-demand and the burn of those fossil gases creates CO2 affecting the atmosphere. Crime and mountains of waste are also unwanted outcomes of overpopulation. On the other hand, education and numerous government measures can decrease the overpopulation problem. Education at an early age of life is a powerful driver able to create awareness about all the present problems regarding overpopulation. However, the government can equally promote educational campaigns about this issue and policies and restrictions regulate the overconsumption of many elements destroying our habitat. Moreover, free birth control for less-privileged citizens may contribute to control the overpopulation concern. Just like the illustration mentioned more methods can be implemented to help our outdoors. In conclusion, whereas overpopulation is a fundamental reason for the loss of biodiversity, pollution, over consumption, and other factors, leading to a shortage of water, fossil fuels, and food, governments and individuals must find ways to overcome these problems.
As the population of the planet Earth grows, individuals worldwide are facing a shortage of water,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Overpopulation
may lead to detrimental effects such as over-consumption along with overfishing and overhunting, the farming impact causing deforestation, and without a doubt more pollution.
Fortunately
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
has a solution. Education could be the most efficient tool to overcome the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overpopulation
challenge. Below, the following essay will demonstrate the consequences and solutions of overpopulation.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overpopulation
has diverse drawbacks. As the number of citizens increases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
does the demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, water, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
. In the case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
supply,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to practice overfishing, overhunting, and
in general
, they over consume products. It is a tendency
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a need. Following this
further
, due to the massive consumption genetic modified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
was invented
, causing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s loss of biodiversity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
modified crops affect wildlife.
Likewise
, more individuals are equal to more pollution. To go to work and practice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
transportation.
Hence
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
is on-demand and the burn of those fossil gases creates CO2 affecting the atmosphere. Crime and mountains of waste are
also
unwanted outcomes of overpopulation.

On the other hand
, education and numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
measures can decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overpopulation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. Education at an early age of life is a powerful driver able to create awareness about all the present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overpopulation
.
However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
equally
promote educational campaigns about this issue and policies and restrictions regulate the overconsumption of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
elements destroying our habitat.
Moreover
, free birth control for less-privileged citizens may contribute to control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overpopulation
concern.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
like the illustration mentioned more methods can
be implemented
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
our outdoors.

In conclusion
, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overpopulation
is a fundamental reason for the loss of biodiversity, pollution, over consumption, and other factors, leading to a shortage of water, fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
find ways to overcome these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
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IELTS essay Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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