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Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

The presence of sufficient funds is likely to affect the developmental stages of offsprings, and as such, it is argued that offsprings raised by middle-income guardians are better equipped for adulthood challenges than those nurtured by rich guardians. I vehemently agree with this notion for a number of reasons. To begin with, offsprings nurtured in middle-income homes become self-motivated and independent at a young age. Unlike offsprings from rich backgrounds whose needs are usually granted, children from average-income homes do not have all their monetary request granted because their care-givers are usually on budget and cannot afford all their want. For this reason, they become self- motivated, thinking about ways of succeeding in life, so as to boost the living condition of their household and conveniently purchase their essential demand. These automatically provide them with life experiences relevant for handling challenges early enough. For example, a colleague at work told me of how he had to purchase and sell phones while in school just to support his education, making him depend less on his parents for survival. In addition, children from average backgrounds are frugal spenders and excellent investors. The ability to be prudent with funds, and not spend lavishly, like children from opulent household, is more inherent in average- income children as they are aware of their parents struggle to provide their daily needs. This act of frugality make such youngsters have enough savings that can be invested wisely to yield gross profit, making them prepared for difficult life situations. To illustrate, my parent gave me only 5000 Naira for upkeep while in college which I had to wisely spend for one month. To conclude, I completely agree that children fostered by average- income care-givers are more strengthened for life challenges than those from moneyed home because they become self- reliant at younger age, and are prudent in spending.
The presence of sufficient funds is likely to affect the developmental stages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offsprings
, and as such, it
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offsprings
raised by middle-income guardians are better equipped for adulthood challenges than those nurtured by rich guardians. I
vehemently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion for a number of reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offsprings
nurtured in middle-income homes become self-motivated and independent at a young age. Unlike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offsprings
from rich backgrounds whose needs are
usually
granted,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from average-income homes do not have all their monetary request granted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their care-givers are
usually
on budget and cannot afford all their want.
For this reason
, they become self- motivated, thinking about ways of succeeding in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
‘So as to’ expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using “to”
so as to
boost the living condition of their household and
conveniently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
their essential demand. These
automatically
provide them with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
experiences relevant for handling challenges early
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
For example
, a colleague at work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me of how he had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
and sell phones while in school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to support his education, making him depend less on his parents for survival.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from average backgrounds are frugal spenders and excellent investors. The ability to be prudent with funds, and not spend
lavishly
, like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from opulent household, is more inherent in average- income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as they are aware of their parents struggle to provide their daily needs. This act of frugality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
such youngsters have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
savings that can
be invested
wisely
to yield gross profit, making them prepared for difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
situations. To illustrate, my parent gave me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5000
Possible spelling mistake found.
Naira
for upkeep while in college which I had to
wisely
spend for one month.

To conclude
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
fostered by average- income care-givers are more strengthened for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
challenges than those from moneyed home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they become self- reliant at younger age, and are prudent in spending.

IELTS essay Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. with this opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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