Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking times for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this. What solutions can you suggest?

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking times for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this. What solutions can you suggest? XGyKr
​It is true that there are many students who have to work during education period. This situation is observed countries which have high college fees. There are several causes of working students and ı believe that this reasons can be solved. ​The first cause of why students work while they are studying is high college or university fees. Students who are supported by their families have series of expenses. For example, when a student is accepted a university, first semester fee have to be paid. There are also charges like house rent, transportation cost etc. As many families have low salaries, They cannot support their children sufficiently. Thus, students who want to study at college have to find a job in order to pay their expenses. Another cause of working students is that they have vacant time. The college students have lessons which are average 20 hours per week. This mean there are a lot of free time. Using this free time not only provides to students gaining money, but also increases their maturity. Although it may be seems to be benefit of working during the education period, this causes students do not have adequate time for their lessons. I believe that this problem can be solved. ​Steps could be taken in order to deal with this problem. I can suggest two possible solutions. Firstly, the colleges fee can be supported by governments. Governments might pay half of education fee to support students, and this provides accessibility to get a university education for whole society. The second solution is providing scholarship for each student who have sufficient grades. İt will be ensured that both supporting students financially and encourage them to study their lessons. What’s more, students may save money to use their education expenses. ​In conclusion, it seems to me that the financial obligations lead to having work during the education period and this problem can be solved to support students financially.
​It is true that there are
many
students
who
have to
work during
education
period. This situation
is observed
countries which have high college
fees
. There are several
causes
of working
students
and ı believe that this reasons can
be solved
.

​The
first
cause
of why
students
work while they are studying is high college or university
fees
.
Students
who
are supported
by their families have series of expenses.
For example
, when a
student
is
accepted
a university,
first
semester
fee
have to
be paid
. There are
also
charges like
house
rent, transportation cost etc. As
many
families have low salaries, They cannot support their children
sufficiently
.
Thus
,
students
who
want to study at college
have to
find a job in order to pay their expenses. Another
cause
of working
students
is that they have vacant
time
. The college
students
have lessons which are average 20 hours per week. This mean there are
a lot of
free
time
. Using this free
time
not
only
provides to
students
gaining money,
but
also
increases their maturity. Although it
may be
seems
to be benefit of working during the
education
period, this
causes
students
do not have adequate
time
for their lessons. I believe that this problem can
be solved
.

​Steps could
be taken
in order to deal with this problem. I can suggest two possible solutions.
Firstly
, the colleges
fee
can
be supported
by
governments
.
Governments
might pay half of
education
fee
to support
students
, and this provides accessibility to
get
a university
education
for whole society. The second solution is providing scholarship for each
student
who
have sufficient grades.
İt
will
be ensured
that both supporting
students
financially
and encourage them to study their lessons. What’s more,
students
may save money to u
se
their
education
expenses.

​I
n conclusion,
it seems to me that the financial obligations lead to having work during the
education
period and this problem can
be solved
to support
students
financially
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking times for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this. What solutions can you suggest?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts