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Some people believer thar purcjase base on their need not advertisement. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believer thar purcjase base on their need not advertisement. wB79N
In this modern world advertising is debatable. Some people think that people will buy those kind of product which they need and they don’t want to see any kind of advertisement. I partly agree with the statement but we also need advertisement. I will describe here why I partly agree and will give some reasons also about advantage and disadvantage of advertising The main reason is that adds make us confused to buy something. Some of advertisement mislead us by giving a lot of information which attract us to purchase. However the product we don’t need, we are pressurised mentally to purchase. Another thing in there are many advertisement which are not good for children. For example the video games consum their valuable time and when they see the advertisement they demand to buy it at any cost. I think governments should regulate those advertisement and imply a strict law. Alternatively advertisements play a key role in the business field. As well as a huge amount of employee lead their life by earning money from it. For instance, most of the models walk in the ramp with product to earn money. Moreover we can choose and know about those brands which are preferable for us. When we watch advertisement we can understand about the product and what are the features of that product. If they do not give us information we will not able to justify the quality of things. By giving this information our concept is clear what we need to purchase. In conclusion some people’s opinion is that they do not need any advertisement. They can buy anything which they desire. I agree with them but it also true hat turning from advertisement in impractical.
In this modern world advertising is debatable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
Did you mean "this kind" or "those kinds"?
those kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
which they
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
need and
they don’t want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
here why I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
and will give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons
also
about advantage and disadvantage of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
advertising


The main reason is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us confused to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
something.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
mislead us by giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
information which attract us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
we don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
, we are
Possible spelling mistake. 'pressurised' is British English.
pressurised
mentally to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
. Another thing in there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
which are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for children.
For example
the video games
Possible spelling mistake found.
consum
their valuable time and when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
they demand to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it at any cost. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should regulate those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
and imply a strict law.

Alternatively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
play a key role in the business field.
As well
as a huge amount of employee lead their life by earning money from it.
For instance
, most of the models walk in the ramp with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
to earn money.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
we can choose and know about those brands which are preferable for us. When we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
we can understand about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and what are the features of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
they do not give us information we will not able to justify the quality of things. By giving this information our concept is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
what we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
.

In conclusion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s opinion is that they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
. They can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
anything which they desire. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
true hat turning from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
in impractical.
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IELTS essay Some people believer thar purcjase base on their need not advertisement.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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