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Some students take a year off between school and university | IELTS essay sample

Some students take a year off between school and university | IELTS essay sample 0noVG
These days many students who have completed their high school take one or two years off before starting university. They either work or travel during this time. In my opinion, this arrangement has both advantages and disadvantages. When students take years off after finishing school, their attention shifts to other areas. Some might travel and some might work. While traveling is exciting and helps them learn more about other countries or people, it does not do much to improve their career prospects. And those who take up a job immediately after finishing school will most probably have to work in the unskilled sector. Since these jobs are more likely to earn them some money and make them financially independent, they might just stick to them. Unfortunately, this will not help in the long term because unskilled workers will have to be content with low salaries and benefits. However, those students who eventually return to their studies after taking a year’s gap will benefit if they can focus on their studies. The valuable work experience they gained or the lessons they learned from their travels will improve their career prospects. And when they are ready to start work after finishing university, they will have employers queuing up to hire them. Unfortunately, many of these students who take time off after school will never join university. Those who join a university may find it difficult to focus on their studies. Many of them will drop out and return to their previous job. To conclude, taking a year off has both benefits and drawbacks. Traveling around the world or taking up a job has several benefits. Travel, for example, will enhance one’s horizons and improve one’s perspectives on life. In the same way, part time or full time jobs equip students with valuable skills that will stand them in good stead. However, a university education is still required to find a good job and students who do not start university after taking a year off will only hamper their career prospects.
These days
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many
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students
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who
have completed their high
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school
take one or two years
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off
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before
starting
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university
. They either
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work
or
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travel
during this
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time
. In my opinion, this arrangement has both advantages and disadvantages.

When
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students
take years
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off
after finishing
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school
, their attention shifts to other areas.
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Some
might
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travel
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
might
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work
. While traveling is exciting and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them learn more about other countries or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, it does not do much to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their career prospects. And those
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who
take up a
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job
immediately after finishing
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school
will most
probably
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have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the unskilled sector. Since these
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jobs
are more likely to earn them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
financially
independent, they might
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just
stick to them. Unfortunately, this will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the long term
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because
unskilled workers will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be content with low salaries and benefits.

However
, those
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students
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who
eventually
return to their studies after taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year’s
gap will benefit if they can focus on their studies. The valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience they gained or the lessons they learned from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travels
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their career prospects. And when they are ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
after finishing
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university
, they will have employers queuing up to hire them. Unfortunately,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of these
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students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
take
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time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
after
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school
will never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
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university
. Those
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who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a
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university
may find it difficult to focus on their studies.
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Many
of them will drop out and return to their previous job.

To conclude
, taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
has both benefits and drawbacks. Traveling around the world or taking up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
has several benefits.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travel
,
for example
, will enhance one’s horizons and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
one’s perspectives on life.
In the same way
, part
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time
or full
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time
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jobs
equip
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students
with valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that will stand them in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
stead.
However
, a
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university
education is
still
required to find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
after taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
hamper their career prospects.
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IELTS essay Some students take a year off between school and university | IELTS essay sample

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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