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Some people believe that hosting International sports events is highly beneficial, whereas others think it is create problems to the host country' Discuss both the views

Some people believe that hosting International sports events is highly beneficial, whereas others think it is create problems to the host country' Discuss both the views oEABq
Whenever the subject of hosting Global athletic events is raised, it is a quite big challenging for host countries due to offering a multitude number of merits and drawbacks. Whilst a group of individuals is of the opinion that there are a wide variety of advantages in holding Major sporting events, others believe that although their opinion is not exactly in conflict with this, it has its own disadvantages. I consider the first argument more logical. This essay will discuss the views. So seriously have developing tourism industry and increasing business investment for host cities affected some people's attitude that they believe organizing mega sports events can be one of the most effective approaches to improve economic growth, leading to sustainable development. For example, in countries which host the Olympics a large number of merchants invest on exporting and selling domestic products, which is very beneficial for the hosting economy. in addition, they can attract more Sports sponsors in various sport fields, providing that countries host mega sports incidents. Consequently, it may create a great deal of enthusiasm among people to exercise, causing nation’s health. As it obvious to all the more the individuals workout the healthier they would live. However, opponents argue that host nations do not gain the expected outcomes. one of the most destructive coins is nothing but culture shock. Because holding global sports incidents, would gather people together with different customs and civilizations, which will result in altering indigenous cultures. For example, when juveniles get familiar with different foreigner’s life styles, have a tendency to experience weird mods. Moreover, a huge budget must go on implementing security. they feel if this amount of money went on increasing the quality of diverse infrastructures such as better health care systems, educational facilities, transportations and some other stuffs, the residents of host region can benefit from higher standard of living, causing Citizens' satisfaction of the government. Inconclusion, although Global athletic events are regarded as an incredible opportunity for nations, negative consequences must be considered. Totally both views are valuable, but as it comes to me the pros outweigh the coins.
Whenever the subject of hosting Global athletic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is raised
, it is a quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
challenging for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
countries due to offering a multitude number of merits and drawbacks. Whilst a group of individuals is of the opinion that there are a wide variety of advantages in holding Major sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
, others believe that although their opinion is not exactly in conflict with this, it has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
disadvantages. I consider the
first
argument more logical. This essay will discuss the views.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
seriously
have developing tourism industry and increasing business investment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
cities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's attitude that they believe organizing mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
can be one of the most effective approaches to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
economic growth, leading to sustainable development.
For example
, in countries which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
the Olympics
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
merchants invest on exporting and selling domestic products, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for the hosting economy.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
addition, they can attract more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
sponsors in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
fields, providing that countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
incidents.
Consequently
, it may create a great deal of enthusiasm among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to exercise, causing nation’s health.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
it obvious to all the more the individuals workout the healthier they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

However
, opponents argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
nations do not gain the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
outcomes.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
of the most destructive coins is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
culture shock.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
holding global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
incidents, would gather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
together with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
customs and civilizations, which will result in altering indigenous cultures.
For example
, when juveniles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
familiar with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
foreigner’s life styles, have a tendency to experience weird mods.
Moreover
, a huge budget
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
go on implementing security.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
feel if this amount of money went on increasing the quality of diverse infrastructures such as better health care systems, educational facilities, transportations and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other stuffs, the residents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
region can benefit from higher standard of living, causing Citizens' satisfaction of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Inconclusion
, although Global athletic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are regarded
as an incredible opportunity for nations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
.
Totally
both views are valuable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to me the pros outweigh the coins.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that hosting International sports events is highly beneficial, whereas others think it is create problems to the host country' Discuss both the views

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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