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In many countries, the tradition of eating meals together is disappearing.Why is this? Effects on families and the society they live in?

In many countries, the tradition of eating meals together is disappearing. Why is this? Effects on families and the society they live in? RkgmV
Nowadays, mamy people prefer to eat alone and other people have a lot of work. As a result family meals is not as before. This essay we consider some of the reasons for the reduced in family meals and i will try to explain my opinion. Firstly, the main reason for the reduced in family meals in the first place is that many people prefer to eat alone and they avoid being in their family. Other people spend a lot of time at work and this prevents them for being with their family. When it comes to youngesters they want to be free and they prefer to meals with his friends. That kind of issues lead to misunderstandings among family members in the future and the relationship will not be the same as before. Secondly, nowadays internet has become more popular among people and they are attracting a lot of people. The result of this causes to decreasing in people's attention to their family. Because many people spend their time on the online networks during the meals time. This is also observed in other family members and leads to a deterioration of the relationship. In conclusion, today many peoole do not pay attention to the tradition of eating meals together. People spending time on useless things are causing such cases
Nowadays,
Possible spelling mistake found.
mamy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to eat alone and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
work.
As a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
is not as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. This essay we consider
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reasons for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
and
Did you mean "I"?
i
will try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my opinion.
Firstly
, the main reason for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
in the
first
place is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to eat
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
alone and
they avoid being in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at work and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
them for being with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngesters
they want to be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
free and
they prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
with his friends. That kind of issues lead to misunderstandings among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members in the future and the relationship will not be the same as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Secondly
, nowadays internet has become more popular among
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they are attracting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The result of
Did you mean "these"?
this
causes to decreasing in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's attention to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the online networks during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. This is
also
observed in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members and leads to a deterioration of the relationship.
In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
peoole
do not pay attention to the tradition of eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
together.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on useless things are causing such
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
cases
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IELTS essay In many countries, the tradition of eating meals together is disappearing. Why is this? Effects on families and the society they live in?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
219 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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