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Some students prefer to take online courses. Othersprefer to study in a classroom with a live teacher. Which do you think is better and why? v.1

Some students prefer to take online courses. Othersprefer to study in a classroom with a live teacher. Which do you think is better and why? v. 1
Nowadays, growing population, especially youth, is eating junk food on a regular basis. It can lead to various health problems. Some people are of the opinion that the only way to solve this problem is to ban it. This essay will talk about why this is not a viable solution according to me. Let us understand the reason, why more number of people are opting for junk food. Fast food, the name itself indicates it is not only available very quickly, but also cheap. For instance, in metro cities, where people are working almost throughout the day, they tend to eat fast food to save their precious time and money. Apart from this, the younger generation of the country tends to follow the Western culture, junk food chains like Mc Donald’s being one of them. Consuming such junk food on a daily basis will lead to different health problems as they contain lot of preservatives and fats. It can mainly cause a person to become overweight leading to issues like obesity, high cholesterol levels, etc. According to me, banning anything leads to the illegal selling of the banned item. If fast food is banned it will cause people to buy them at higher costs maybe illegally. Instead, health awareness must be done about eating healthy food rather than fast food. To conclude, I do not completely agree that fast food should be banned to avoid its consumption on a large scale. In my opinion, we should rather focus on the advantages of eating healthy food and promote the same on a large scale.
Nowadays, growing population,
especially
youth, is eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
on a regular basis. It can lead to various health problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to solve this problem is to ban it. This essay will talk about why this is not a viable solution according to me.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us understand the reason, why more number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are opting for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, the name itself indicates it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
available
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
quickly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
.
For instance
, in metro cities, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are working almost throughout the day, they tend to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to save their precious time and money. Apart from this, the younger generation of the country tends to follow the Western culture,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
chains like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mc
Donald’s being one of them.

Consuming such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
on a daily basis will lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
health problems as they contain
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
preservatives and fats. It can
mainly
cause a person to become overweight leading to issues like obesity, high cholesterol levels, etc.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, banning anything leads to the illegal selling of the banned item.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is banned
it will cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them at higher costs maybe
illegally
.
Instead
, health awareness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be done
about eating healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
food.

To conclude
, I do not completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
should
be banned
to avoid its consumption on a large scale. In my opinion, we should
rather
focus on the advantages of eating healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and promote the same on a large scale.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some students prefer to take online courses. Othersprefer to study in a classroom with a live teacher. Which do you think is better and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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