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Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or to travel. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or to travel. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? xd9w
Among high school graduates these days, more students gravitate towards taking a year-long break before pursuing college. While this trend has several merits, I firmly believe that its adverse effects are of more notice. On the one hand, deferring university enrollment may prove a real boon to students. A rationale for this is that they have more time to hone career-related skills and broaden their horizons, whereas their peers at universities are busy with homework and group projects. Therefore, they stand a higher chance of becoming knowledgeable employees, thus get promoted at work. Besides, instead of instantly jumping into colleges, these students can attend occupational orientations to identify the proper career path. That is of paramount importance, especially to those who receive inadequate guidance at high school. Taking my friend as an example, only when she finished the last course at the university did she realize that her major was not suitable. On the other hand, gap-year takers may suffer from various detrimental effects. The first negative is the sense of peer pressure they have when most of their friends have already embarked on tertiary education. During the break, they may feel left behind by their competent friends at the university because partaking in college activities is out of reach. Moreover, the longer the gap year is, the less ambitious students become. Once they get accustomed to the flexible schedule, they may lose the driving force to continue their further education. In conclusion, delaying university education for a year allows students more time to arm themselves with vocational skills and choose the field born for them. However, from my perspective, the feeling of inferiority and the loss of motivation outstrip its benefits.
Among high school graduates these days, more
students
gravitate towards taking a year-long break
before
pursuing college. While this trend has several merits, I
firmly
believe that its adverse effects are of more notice.

On the one hand, deferring
university
enrollment may prove a real boon to
students
. A rationale for this is that they have more time to hone career-related
skills
and broaden their horizons, whereas their peers at
universities
are busy with homework and group projects.
Therefore
, they stand a higher chance of becoming knowledgeable employees,
thus
get
promoted at work.
Besides
,
instead
of
instantly
jumping into colleges, these
students
can attend occupational orientations to identify the proper career path.
That is
of paramount importance,
especially
to those who receive inadequate guidance at high school. Taking my friend as an example,
only
when she finished the last course at the
university
did she realize that her major was not suitable.

On the other hand
, gap-year takers may suffer from various detrimental effects. The
first
negative
is the sense of peer pressure they have when most of their friends have already embarked on tertiary education. During the break, they may feel
left
behind by their competent friends at the
university
because
partaking in college activities is out of reach.
Moreover
, the longer the gap year is, the less ambitious
students
become. Once they
get
accustomed to the flexible schedule, they may lose the driving force to continue their
further
education.

In conclusion
, delaying
university
education for a year
allows
students
more time to arm themselves with vocational
skills
and choose the field born for them.
However
, from my perspective, the feeling of inferiority and the loss of motivation outstrip its benefits.
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IELTS essay Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or to travel. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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