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Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students.

Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students. DED6
Currently, the discourse regarding computer for educational curriculum is increasingly topical. Some experts believe that schools have to adapt the computer system to their classes and teaching methods due to it has been the foremost tool in the current cutting-edge world, while others argue that hiring computer programs to the school system would drive pupils to obvious hazards. I will put forth the main argument of both sides and state that the former is valid owing the fact that the next generations are required to follow the current industries demand of modern computerized system. The main argument for this is that the vast majority of nowadays emplyoyers require people with excelent skills, particularly on cumputer programs. In other words, school managements have to follow the mandatory will by presenting an educational system that is based on computer programmees. For instance, by the late 2019, numerous Vietnamees educational institutions have installed the system of computer for education, not only in the teaching progress, but also all their managerial systems in order to achieve the government goal as the world leading human excelent skills that are siuted to recent industries' trend. On the other hand, relying on the artifial inteligence could omit the pupils capability on manual skill, such as arithmathics. Nevertheless, this kind of skills is not needed anymore because everything has been digitalized. Consequently, educational systems would place their students into the drawback if they retain the traditional curriculum that is not let pupils to study with computer supporting systems. To conclude, applying the computer programs on the educational system is must because it such a demending system inline to the modern industrial requirement. Obviously, performing new teaching curriculum based on computer would let the conventional capabelities vanished, however, this skill is not enabled in the cuurent job vacancies.
Currently
, the discourse regarding computer for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
curriculum is
increasingly
topical.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
experts believe that schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
adapt the computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
to their classes and teaching methods due to it has been

the foremost tool in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
cutting-edge world, while others argue that hiring computer programs to the school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
would drive pupils to obvious hazards. I will put forth the main argument of both sides and state that the former is valid owing the fact that the
next
generations
are required
to follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
industries demand of modern computerized system.

The main argument for this is that the vast majority of nowadays
Possible spelling mistake found.
emplyoyers
require
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
excelent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
particularly
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
cumputer
programs.
In other words
, school managements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
follow the mandatory will by presenting an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
that
is based
on computer
Possible spelling mistake found.
programmees
.
For instance
, by the late 2019, numerous
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vietnamees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutions have installed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
of computer for education, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the teaching progress,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
all their managerial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
in order to achieve the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
goal as the world leading human
Possible spelling mistake found.
excelent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that are
Possible spelling mistake found.
siuted
to recent industries' trend.

On the other hand
, relying on the
Possible spelling mistake found.
artifial
Possible spelling mistake found.
inteligence
could omit the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "pupils'" or "pupil's"?
pupils
capability on manual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
, such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
arithmathics
.
Nevertheless
, this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
is not needed anymore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everything has
been digitalized
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
would place their students into the drawback if they retain the traditional curriculum
that is
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
pupils to study with computer supporting systems.

To conclude
, applying the computer programs on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it such a
Possible spelling mistake found.
demending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
inline to the modern industrial requirement.
Obviously
, performing new teaching curriculum based on computer would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the conventional
Possible spelling mistake found.
capabelities
vanished,
however
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is not enabled in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
cuurent
job vacancies.
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IELTS essay Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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