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Some student choose to study in foreign country. Do you agree or disagree?

Some student choose to study in foreign country. KwpRR
Choosing a foreign country for further education is now becomes a trend in the young generation in this contemporary era. There has been much discussion revolving around the issue of whether a student should pursue their higher education in another country. Personally, I advocate the former view because it will help improves the financial status of the family and help students to become self-dependent over the fear of students might get left alone in a foreign country. There are people who argue that the benefits of studying abroad considerably outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing that is studying in a foreign country will bring money to the family which will improve the wealth of the family. It is also possible to say that it will bring prosperity to the family. One good illustration of this is Indian student studies in Canada, the USA, UK, Australia, and many more developed countries. Therefore, their currency value is much higher than India. So, students over there help their in terms of moneyfamily by working over there. Another reason is that student becomes self-independent and emotionally strong. In spite of living alone, they built strong network connections to develop themselves. To give it an example, students have to live on their own, away from the home country, and develop some skills. On the other hand, others believe that studying far away from home in a different country is not beneficial. People often have this opinion because they think it can bring some life-threatening danger to a student’s life. To exemplify, many news has reported that many international students are bullied and killed in developed countries. That’s worrying more in these people. In conclusion, I believe both arguments have their merits. On balance, however, I feel that studying abroad has a way edge over their demerits in the context of money, self-nurturing, or self-development.
Choosing a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for
further
education is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
becomes a trend in the young generation in this contemporary era. There has been much discussion revolving around the issue of whether a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should pursue their higher education in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Personally
, I advocate the former view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the financial status of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to become self-dependent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the fear of
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students
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
alone in a foreign country.

There are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who argue that the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad
considerably
outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will bring money to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the wealth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. It is
also
possible to say that it will bring prosperity to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is Indian
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student
studies in Canada, the USA, UK, Australia, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Therefore
, their currency value is much higher than India.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their in terms of
Possible spelling mistake found.
moneyfamily
by working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
there. Another reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
becomes self-independent and
emotionally
strong.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
living alone, they built strong network connections to develop themselves. To give it an example,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, away from the home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, and develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On the other hand
, others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
far away from home in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is not beneficial.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
life-threatening
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
life. To exemplify,
Possible agreement error. The noun news seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much news", "a good deal of news".
many news
has reported that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are bullied
and killed in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. That’s worrying more in these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, I believe both arguments have their merits. On balance,
however
, I feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad has a way edge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
their demerits in the context of money, self-nurturing, or self-development.
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IELTS essay Some student choose to study in foreign country.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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