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Some scientists believe that studying the behavior of 3-year-old children can predict their criminality. To what extent do you think a crime is a product of human nature, or is it possible to stop children from growing up to be criminals?

Some scientists believe that studying the behavior of 3-year-old children can predict their criminality. KY83w
Scientists believe that by studying behaviour of 3 years old children, we can predict if that child can become criminals in the future. To what extent is crime a product of human nature? Is it possible to stop children from growing to be a criminal? Scientists consider that innate characteristics are responsible for turning to a career of crime in the future can be predicted by observing of children’s behavioral patterns. In my perspective, crime may result from individual personalities of violence or greed and preventing children from committing crime in their adulthood is feasible. There is a belief that wrongdoings are attributed to personality. Firstly, some argue that an individual who is cruel becomes to crime more easily than a kind person. For example, many children show unacceptable behavior in their childhood by bullying other boys and girls at school. This makes them turn into violent criminal in the future. Secondly, lazy and selfish people who seek to acquire easy money without working to earn a living. Instead of working hard to make an honest living, they chosen to steal from others such as in snatching elderly people’ bags on the streets. This could also breed future offenders. Nevertheless, it seems to me that upbringing and schooling environment are the main causes which can leads to committing a crime, rather than merely laying the blame on genetic traits. If children are brought up in a healthy and educational environment from family and schools, these kids can become ethical and law-abiding citizens when they grow up. So, teachers and parents play an important role in forming good characteristic in children’s early stage that will helps them distinguish between benevolence and malevolence. Furthermore, with proper education and guidance from family and schools, youngster can be consequences of crime and how to avoid offending. Being fully aware of severe punishments for criminals, children would abstain from intention of illegal acts. In conclusion, it seems to me that criminal acts are the result of human nature. By addressing the principal causes of crime and making a concerted effort between parents, schools and the prospect of criminalization in childhood could be avoided.
Scientists believe that by studying
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of 3 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, we can predict if that child can become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. To what extent is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
a product of human nature? Is it possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from growing to be a criminal?

Scientists consider that innate characteristics are responsible for turning to a career of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
can
be predicted
by observing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
behavioral patterns. In my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
may result from individual personalities of violence or greed and preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in their adulthood is feasible.

There is a belief that wrongdoings
are attributed
to personality.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that an individual who is cruel becomes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
more
easily
than a kind person.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
unacceptable behavior in their childhood by bullying other boys and girls at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them turn into violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
Secondly
, lazy and selfish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who seek to acquire easy money without working to earn a living.
Instead
of working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an honest living, they
Possible grammatical error. You used a past participle without using any required verb ('be' or 'have'). Did you mean "chose"?
chosen
to steal from others such as in snatching elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’ bags on the streets. This could
also
breed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
offenders.

Nevertheless
, it seems to me that upbringing and schooling environment are the main causes which can leads to committing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
,
rather
than
merely
laying the blame on genetic traits. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are brought
up in a healthy and educational environment from family and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, these kids can become ethical and law-abiding citizens when they grow up.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, teachers and parents play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in forming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
characteristic in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
early stage that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them distinguish between benevolence and malevolence.
Furthermore
, with proper education and guidance from family and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, youngster can be consequences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and how to avoid offending. Being
fully
aware of severe punishments for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would abstain from intention of illegal acts.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
acts are the result of human nature. By addressing the principal causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and making a concerted effort between parents,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and the prospect of criminalization in childhood could
be avoided
.
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IELTS essay Some scientists believe that studying the behavior of 3-year-old children can predict their criminality.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
358 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
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