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Some schools have restricted the use of mobile phones. Is this a positive development or a negative one?

Some schools have restricted the use of mobile phones. Is this a positive development or a negative one? XWjA
Mobile phones have undoubtedly changed the way we all communicate as a species. These little yet powerful machines have given us the access to reach out to anyone, at any moment and in any part of the world. While the benefits resulting from mobile phones are enormous in number, these devices tend to have a deteriorating effect when it comes to education and hence a lot of schools have gone ahead and banned their usage. In my view this is a surely a positive development as the use of mobile phone in schools hamper the kids' educational, mental and social develpoment skills. Restricting the phone usage in class would lead to zero or minimal distraction, hence the students would concentrate more on the subject being taught rather than the new app in town. Just imagine a class wherein the teacher is explaining the young's double slit experiment and the students playing candy crush level 25. Think which of these two would make someone a successful person? Would the students go ahead and achieve something in life? Would they be able to make a good career for themselves? Food for thought! Restricting the phone usage not only prevents these outcomes in students' lives but also leads them to a successful academic life. Prolonged cellphone usage during these crucial years also leads to seclusion from the real world. This is turn could make someone socially incapacitated and create a bubble of social anxiety around them. Schools are a place to meet new people, learn new things and make some great friends for life but the mobile phones suck the life out of this otherwise beautiful scenario. Being constantly glued to the screen and scrolling through unnecessary data in the so called "social" media applications could also result in stunted mental growth. This is because one easily starts to feel comfortable in this virtual world which is devoid of any kind of reality. So the next time you see a school kid yearning for likes on a picture uploaded on an app Instagram try to find out the actual number of friends he/she has outside this digital universe. You will be shocked to find out that the real number would be levels below the digital one. Restricing mobile phones in schools would ensure that kids make the most of their early years in developing social connects and flexing the most important muscle in their body, their mind, in the right way. Technological developments will continue to make mobile phones much more advanced and sophisticated throughout the tides of time but one thing will remain unchanged, and that is the fact that till a certian age is attained humans won't be benifited out of them, rather their lives would further be detoriated. Hence, the decision of restricting mobile phone usage is schools is great step towards ensuring the fact that school kids won't be exposed to something which is beyond their scope of understanding and not to forget their AGE!
Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have
undoubtedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way we all communicate as a species. These
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
yet
powerful machines have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
us the access to reach out to anyone, at any moment and in any part of the world. While the benefits resulting from mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are
A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
enormous in number
, these devices tend to have a deteriorating effect when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to education and
hence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have gone ahead and banned their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
. In my view this is a
surely
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
hamper the kids' educational, mental and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
Possible spelling mistake found.
develpoment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Restricting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
would lead to zero or minimal distraction,
hence
the students would concentrate more on the subject
being taught
rather
than the new app in town.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
imagine a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
wherein the teacher is explaining the young's double slit experiment and the students playing
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
candy crush
level 25.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Think
which of these two would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
someone a successful person? Would the students go ahead and achieve something in life? Would they be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
career for themselves? Food for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
! Restricting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
these outcomes in students'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
leads them to a successful academic life.

Prolonged cellphone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
during these crucial years
also
leads to seclusion from the real world. This is turn could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
someone
socially
incapacitated and create a bubble of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
anxiety around them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
are a place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, learn new things and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
great friends for life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
suck the life out of this
otherwise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
scenario. Being
constantly
glued to the screen and scrolling through unnecessary data in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
called
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
social
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
media applications could
also
result in stunted mental growth. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
one
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to feel comfortable in this virtual world which is devoid of any kind of reality.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
next
time you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
kid yearning for likes on a picture uploaded on an app Instagram
The singular proper name 'Instagram' must be used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "tries", "tried".
try
to find out the actual number of friends he/she has outside this digital universe. You will
be shocked
to find out that the real number would be levels below the digital one.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Restricing
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
would ensure that kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the most of their early years in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
connects and flexing the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
muscle in their body, their mind, in the right way.

Technological developments will continue to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
much more advanced and sophisticated throughout the tides of time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one thing will remain unchanged, and
that is
the fact that till a
Possible spelling mistake found.
certian
age
is attained
humans won't be
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifited
out of them,
rather
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
would
further
be
Possible spelling mistake found.
detoriated
.
Hence
, the decision of restricting mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is great step towards ensuring the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
kids won't
be exposed
to something which is beyond their scope of understanding and not to forget their AGE!
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IELTS essay Some schools have restricted the use of mobile phones. Is this a positive development or a negative one?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
496 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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