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Some school leavers go travelling or work for a period of time before they go to university. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Some school leavers go travelling or work for a period of time before they go to university. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? AgjDn
some students who qualifies to be in the university will rather choose to work or travel before entry. the essay will elaborate on the advantages and disadvantages of this action. Most students in the lower class society, experience financial difficulties. The family cannot even afford a three square meal, student from such class has no one to look up to, by themselves. They therefore find it necessary to work in order to accumulate money for the university tuition, students obtain skills and experience that might go a long way to secure the future. Travelling on the other hand, is a good opportunity for some school leavers. It connects them to different parts of the world and its people. They are therefore exposed to different culture, and so much more. Through travelling connections are created and experience are gained. Moreover, students will always be there to accommodate new students whenever they are ready. The opportunity to travel might be the only opportunity one may have in a lifetime, student that work or travel before pursuing their degree tend to mature over time. And so are able to make effective life decisions that are beneficial to their life success. Though some students who choose to work or travel may gradually lose interest in obtaining a degree when the work is paying well, or they Find comfort, or their current place some meeting is not necessary to leave a job for school since they will still have to come back in search of a job after obtaining a degree, despite the fact, students who are serious, determined, and know what they are about will always go back to obtain a degree. It is so fortunate that there is no age that disqualifies a person from entering into the university. I believe that students that loses interest will gradually see the need to if they meet friends who have obtained a degree and are doing great in society. To conclude, working prior to university entry gives student experience and skills. Where as traveling add to the knowledge of the traveler and help create beneficial connections. The negative aspect is that the might lose interest at are the year go by. with all said, I believe that advantages are far more than disadvantages.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "qualify"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'students' should be used.
qualifies
to be in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
will
rather
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
entry.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
essay will elaborate on the advantages and disadvantages of this action.

Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
financial difficulties. The family cannot even afford a three square meal,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
from such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
has no one to look up to, by themselves. They
therefore
find it necessary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in order to accumulate money for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
tuition,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
obtain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
that might go a long way to secure the future.

Travelling
on the other hand
, is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
. It connects them to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world and its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. They are
therefore
exposed to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much more. Through travelling connections
are created
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
are gained
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will always be there to accommodate new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
whenever they are ready. The opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
might be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
opportunity one may have in a lifetime,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
pursuing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
tend to mature over time. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
effective life decisions that are beneficial to their life success.

Though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
may
gradually
lose interest in obtaining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is paying well, or they Find comfort, or their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
meeting is not necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a job for school since they will
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back in search of a job after obtaining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
, despite the fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are serious, determined, and know what they are about will always go back to obtain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
fortunate that there is no age that disqualifies a person from entering into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
that loses interest will
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the need to if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have obtained a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
and are doing great in society.

To conclude
, working prior to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
entry gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Did you mean "Whereas"?
Where as
traveling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to the knowledge of the traveler and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
create beneficial connections. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspect is that the might lose interest at are the year go by.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
with
all said, I believe that advantages are far more than disadvantages.
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IELTS essay Some school leavers go travelling or work for a period of time before they go to university. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
378 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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