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Some says that The amount of stress these days is higher others don't agree.what is your opinion

Some says that The amount of stress these days is higher others don't agree. what is your opinion K3Px3
The amount of stress these days is greater and that causes climbing in the number of people suffering. The high costs of living is a major reason as well as the career concerns. Additionally, the exposure of people insecurities because of social media has raised up stress levels besides the spread of pollution. However, the modern technologies lowered the long work hours used to bring stress in the past, also now there is excellent health services that people used to lack. High costs of living is one of the main reasons that has a significant role in causing stress these days. Because of the takeover of new technologies, everything in a day to day basis is in continuous increase in the cost, leading people to not being able to afford & getting along with. Likewise the career concerns, the rapid change in life prerequisites causes rapid change in careers needed which raises the level of anxiety people have. Furthermore, people's daily life controlled by social media, the ceaseless dilemma to be up to date, and the meaningless comparisons, all result in spreading the feeling of being insecure and stressed. Besides that, the rising degree of pollution due to the enormous expansion in land area of factories and the colossal outcome of green houses' gases, is a crucial consequence in having higher level of stress recent days. On the other hand, nowadays there is no stress done by the long work hours, in the past people used to work more than half of the day just to save the minimum amount of food they can live by. Moreover, now there is no concerns about health services people lack old days when most of illnesses even simple ones were deadly and people had only the way to use some medical plants they knew accidentally and not profoundly. In conclusion, Neither the long work hours nor the lack of health services are potential reasons of stress & suffering nowadays yet so many other reasons are, on top of them are the high costs of living and career concerns. Further reasons are no less essential which are the high level of pollution & living in fear of the exposure of our insecurities to the outside world because of social media.
The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
these days is greater and that causes climbing in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffering. The high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
is a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerns
.
Additionally
, the exposure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
insecurities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of social media has raised up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
besides
the spread of pollution.
However
, the modern technologies lowered the long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
hours
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
in the past,
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
there is excellent health services that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to lack.

High
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
is one of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
that has a significant role in causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
these days.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the takeover of new technologies, everything in a
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
basis is in continuous increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
, leading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to not being able to afford & getting along with.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Likewise
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerns
, the rapid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in life prerequisites causes rapid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
needed which raises the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of anxiety
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have.

Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's daily life controlled by social media, the ceaseless dilemma to be up to date, and the meaningless comparisons, all result in spreading the feeling of being insecure and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
.
Besides
that, the rising degree of pollution due to the enormous expansion in land area of factories and the colossal outcome of green
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
' gases, is a crucial consequence in having higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
recent days.

On the other hand
, nowadays there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
done by the long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
hours, in the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more than half of the day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to save the minimum amount of food they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
by.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerns
about health services
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lack
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days when
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the illnesses") or simply say "most illnesses".
most of illnesses
even simple ones were deadly and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
medical plants they knew
accidentally
and not
profoundly
.

In conclusion
, Neither the long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
hours nor the lack of health services are potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
& suffering nowadays
yet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
are, on top of them are the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerns
.
Further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
are no less essential which are the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of pollution &
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in fear of the exposure of our insecurities to the outside world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of social media.
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IELTS essay Some says that The amount of stress these days is higher others don't agree. what is your opinion

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
376 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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