Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their spare time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their spare time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. jOjp
Over the decades, parents have become meticulous about the child development all over the world. This is the positive change what society witnessing due to widespread of education. However there are mixed view about the ways of upbringings and must be carefully analyzed. Some experts prefer way of upbringing by exploring the child to world in the form of diversified groups. There are several benefits of making child familiar with the outdoor activities. Firstly, communication is pivotal skill for confronting situation in day to day life and which gets encouraged in the various team building activities. In addition, maneuvering machine and people is the important aspect of any society which can not get developed all alone. Finally, there is social need to be in group and unity always give identity in the form of nation or forum or organization. For example, organization such as UNISEF, Red cross, or Armies have been developing based on the factors mentioned above and handling the tougher situation in human life effectively. However, there is debate on other side for making children to self occupy leisure time. There is no doubt, relying on own is beneficial for certain situations. At the first place, Migration at new place requires to have the decision making skills perfect. In such situation child can fulfill the aspect of change in life. Secondly, the skills to solve complex issues such as puzzles, mathematics or any innovative ideas comes in the focused environment. Finally, there are situations where children may have to confront and manage the tougher situation all alone. All these futuristic situations would certainly be hassle free, because of children who knows how to utilize the spare time by all themselves without any support. In conclusion, There are mixed view for the effective fostering of children. However, from the broader aspects that world demands, We must focus on exposing them to the diversified social environments. However to build the decision making ability children have to be given chance to thing by themselves. I personally recommend both these views are impeccable for rigorous endeavors of any nation to bolster the future.
Over the decades, parents have become meticulous about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
development all over the world. This is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
what society witnessing due to widespread of education.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
there
are mixed
view about the ways of upbringings and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
carefully
analyzed.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
experts prefer way of upbringing by exploring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to world in the form of diversified groups. There are several benefits of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
familiar with the outdoor activities.
Firstly
, communication is pivotal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
for confronting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
in day to day life and which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
encouraged in the various team building activities.
In addition
, maneuvering machine and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect of any society which can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
developed all alone.
Finally
, there is social need to be in group and unity always give identity in the form of nation or forum or organization.
For example
, organization such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
UNISEF
, Red cross, or Armies have been developing based on the factors mentioned above and handling the tougher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
in human life
effectively
.
However
, there is debate on other side for making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to self occupy leisure time. There is no doubt, relying on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
is beneficial for certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
. At the
first
place, Migration at new place requires to have the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
perfect. In such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
can fulfill the aspect of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in life.
Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to solve complex issues such as puzzles, mathematics or any innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in the focused environment.
Finally
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
confront and manage the tougher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
all alone. All these futuristic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
would
certainly
be hassle free,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who knows how to utilize the spare time by all themselves without any support.
In conclusion
, There
are mixed
view for the effective fostering of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
However
, from the broader aspects that world demands, We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
focus on exposing them to the diversified social environments.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
to build the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
ability
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
chance to thing by themselves. I
personally
recommend both these views are impeccable for rigorous endeavors of any nation to bolster the future.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their spare time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
351 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their spare time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both views and give your opinion.