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Some say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their spare time. Others say it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their spare time. Others say it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both views and give your opinion 0rgO
In this incrementally complicated world, opinions may differ about how parents bring up their children, especially because there is more free time for the youngsters now than ever. Some might argue that participating in organized group activities should be prioritised, others consider children had better improve the quality of their time spent alone. In this essay, I will go through both views thoroughly in two different paragraphs and put forward my opinion in the end. First of all, let’s examine how being in a rather crowded environment of group events and activities can work wonders in building essential life-long skills for many of the young civilians. To illustrate, visualize a moment in a high school party, the members of this group would, more of than not, venture out of their comfort zone in order to have a pleasant meet-and-greet situation. Therefore, not only party-goers but other activities’ participants also would be able to hone their soft skills, such as effective communication, tremendously due to constant exposure to different peers with diverse cultures. Moreover, by attending various either indoor or outdoor activities with a group of people, most youngsters can form long-lived friendships for decades to come, helping them in difficult times later in life. Oftentimes, skeptics might doubt that by allowing children to enjoy themselves during their free time, there is a risk of video games taking away all the meaningful time in their life rather than helping them build long-lasting relationships as previously mentioned. Nevertheless, in reality, if parents give their offspring a headstart in life by guiding them how to spend their time in solitude efficiently, this approach can bring about a work-life balance down the line. What is almost guaranteed to happen when youngsters decide to explore thyself in their free time, they are likely to grow up becoming conscientious individuals who know the underlying principle of happiness in life, regardless of having a spouse by their side or not. In Japan, children as young as five are taught by their mother and father to take responsibilities for their actions even in times spent alone, and so the country ranks high in its populace’s contentment in life. All things being equal, learning how to self-occupy during free time surely brings benefits for any person, let alone the youngsters. In conclusion, there are evidently merits to both sides of the argument, therefore I consider it plausible for young people to strike a balance between partaking in planned sociable activities and learning how to compromise with thy happiness in their free time.
In this
incrementally
complicated world, opinions may differ about how parents bring up their
children
,
especially
because
there is more
free
time
for the youngsters
now
than ever.
Some
might argue that participating in organized
group
activities
should be
prioritised
, others consider
children
had better
improve
the quality of their
time
spent alone. In this essay, I will go through both views
thoroughly
in two
different
paragraphs and put forward my opinion in the
end
.

First of all
,
let
’s examine how being in a
rather
crowded environment of
group
events
and
activities
can work wonders in building essential life-long
skills
for
many
of the young civilians. To illustrate, visualize a moment in a high school party, the members of this
group
would, more of than not, venture out of their comfort zone in order to have a pleasant
meet
-and-greet situation.
Therefore
, not
only
party-goers
but
other
activities’
participants
also
would be able to hone their soft
skills
, such as effective communication,
tremendously
due to constant exposure to
different
peers with diverse cultures.
Moreover
, by attending various either indoor or outdoor
activities
with a
group
of
people
, most youngsters can form long-
lived
friendships for decades to
come
, helping them in difficult
times
later in life.

Oftentimes, skeptics might doubt that by allowing
children
to enjoy themselves during their
free
time
, there is a
risk
of video games taking away all the meaningful
time
in their
life
rather
than helping them build long-lasting relationships as previously mentioned.
Nevertheless
, in reality, if parents give their offspring a
headstart
in
life
by guiding them how to spend their
time
in solitude
efficiently
, this approach can bring about a work-life balance down the line. What is almost guaranteed to happen when youngsters decide to explore thyself in their
free
time
, they are likely to grow up becoming conscientious individuals who know the underlying principle of happiness in
life
, regardless of having a spouse by their side or not. In Japan,
children
as young as five
are taught
by their mother and father to take responsibilities for their actions even in
times
spent alone, and
so
the country ranks high in its populace’s contentment in
life
. All things being equal, learning how to self-occupy during
free
time
surely
brings benefits for any person,
let
alone the youngsters.

In conclusion
, there are
evidently
merits to both sides of the argument,
therefore
I consider it plausible for young
people
to strike a balance between partaking in planned sociable
activities
and learning how to compromise with thy happiness in their
free
time
.
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IELTS essay Some say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their spare time. Others say it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
423 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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