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Some say that economic development is the solution to poverty: others say it is the cause of poverty. What is your opinion?

Some say that economic development is the solution to poverty: others say it is the cause of poverty. What is your opinion? r89rN
Many people today have clean water, good food, comfortable houses and money to spend. Billions, however, live in terrible conditions, often without enough to eat. Why is it that, despite all our economic progress, so many people is poor? In this essay I will discuss if the growth of business and capitalism is keeping people in poverty. It’s easy to blame economic development for many problems. First of all, huge companies exploit the natural resources of countries. Nigeria’s oil, Zimbabwe’s diamonds and the Brazilian forest are used up, but no money goes to the ordinary people. Second, much industry leads to pollution or environmental damage. Huge dam projects in India force people from their homes, and pesticide poisoning kills millions. In addition, companies don’t care about employees. Some even move overnight to different countries, leaving thousands unemployed. But it’s impossible to turn the clock back and live without economic development. In the first place, any job is better than no job. People need money to buy food, build houses and pay for their children’s medicine. Second, business and trade mean that good governments have money to invest in better infrastructure. They can build better roads, hospitals, sanitation, and schools, thus attracting more development. Finally, large-scale production provides us with cheap clothes, food, electronic goods and other luxuries. Only free trade and open markets can give us this consumer lifestyle, for necessities as well as luxuries. In summary, we need to balance the greed of corporations with the needs of our people. Everyone deserves a chance to live a comfortable and dignified life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
have clean water,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
food, comfortable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to spend. Billions,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in terrible conditions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to eat. Why is it that, despite all our economic progress,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
poor? In this essay I will discuss if the growth of business and capitalism is keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in poverty.

It’s easy to blame economic development for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
exploit the natural resources of countries. Nigeria’s oil, Zimbabwe’s diamonds and the Brazilian forest are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
goes to the ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Second, much industry leads to pollution or environmental damage. Huge dam projects in India force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from their homes, and pesticide poisoning kills millions.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
don’t care about employees.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
overnight to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries, leaving thousands unemployed.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it’s impossible to turn the clock back and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without economic development. In the
first
place, any job is better than no job.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
food, build
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and pay for their children’s medicine. Second, business and trade mean that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to invest in better infrastructure. They can build better roads, hospitals, sanitation, and schools,
thus
attracting more development.
Finally
, large-scale production provides us with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
clothes, food, electronic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and other luxuries.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
free trade and open markets can give us this consumer lifestyle, for necessities
as well
as luxuries.

In summary, we need to balance the greed of corporations with the needs of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Everyone deserves a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a comfortable and dignified life.
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IELTS essay Some say that economic development is the solution to poverty: others say it is the cause of poverty. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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