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Some say that watching television among children has detrimental effects on their growth while others say otherwise. Do you agree or disagree? Discuss both views.

Some say that watching television among children has detrimental effects on their growth while others say otherwise. Wykek
Watching television has been common among children nowadays. They are glued for a long time every day on the TV screens due to their favourite programs. While some say that this has a detrimental effect on their growth, I personally believe that watching TV among children can be beneficial provided they are guided with the right programs by their parents. The reason why some individuals believe that watching TV among children may have a bad effect on their development lies on the fact that some television shows are not appropriate for their age. There are scenes of violence, crime, drama, and sex that can poison children’s mind and behaviour. When they see these acts on TV they may consider it as a normal act and acceptable in the society. Harmful effects of these scenes among children are very evident in a survey that was conducted by ‘GobalTV. Org’. Sixty percent of children who are violent learned their acts on television and was not guided properly when they are watching. Although, there are some TV scenes that are not suitable for children, there are tons of TV shows that are appropriate to them. Parents should guide them on programs that they watch, and as much as possible they must be with them when they are watching. A good example of these are national geographic and cartoon network. Such programs are not only educational, but also entertaining. There are also shows which promote healthy living, good moral and behaviour, such shows helps the development of children mentally and physically. For example, Batibot, a well known TV program in the Philippines, has a segment that teaches how to gain friends through exercise and sports. Watching correct TV programs among children is truly beneficial to them. In conclusion, watching television could have a positive and negative effect on youngster’s development. It is my strong conviction that if the children’s guardian or parents guide them on the right programs to watch, it will help them in their growth and development.
Watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has been common among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
nowadays. They
are glued
for a long time every day on the TV screens due to their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
say that this has a detrimental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on their growth, I
personally
believe that watching TV among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can be beneficial provided they
are guided
with the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
by their parents.

The reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals believe that watching TV among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
lies on the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
are not appropriate for their age. There are scenes of violence, crime, drama, and sex that can poison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
mind and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. When they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
these acts on TV they may consider it as a normal act and acceptable in the society. Harmful effects of these scenes among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
evident in a survey that
was conducted
by ‘
Possible spelling mistake found.
GobalTV
. Org’. Sixty percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are violent learned their acts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and was not guided
properly
when they are watching.

Although, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
TV scenes that are not suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, there are tons of TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
that are appropriate to them. Parents should guide them on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
, and as much as possible they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be with them when they are watching. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of these are national geographic and cartoon network. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
educational,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
entertaining. There are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
which promote healthy living,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
moral and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
mentally and
physically
.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Batibot
, a well known TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
in the Philippines, has a segment that teaches how to gain friends through exercise and sports. Watching correct TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is
truly
beneficial to them.

In conclusion
, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
could have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on youngster’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. It is my strong conviction that if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
guardian or parents guide them on the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in their growth and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
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IELTS essay Some say that watching television among children has detrimental effects on their growth while others say otherwise.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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