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Production of consumer goods cause damage to the natural environment. Why is this so? What can be done for it.

Production of consumer goods cause damage to the natural environment. Why is this so? What can be done for it. GMjPw
In this present world, due to overpopulation, the demand of consumer products is at the peak level. The factories and industries which manufacturers these goods affects the environment adversely. Eventhough the causes are many, there are number of effective solutions to control and prevent these damages to a great extend. Nowadays, it is quite common that to satisfy the needs of this overwhelming population the demand of consumer products is getting higher and for that human activities exploit the natural environment. First of all, to compensate the space for building factories, trees and forests are been cut down. In addition to that several agricultural fields are also cleared for building such factories and industries which produce the consumer goods. Moreover, almost every industries contribute to global warming and air pollution. Similarly these factories emits the chemical wastes to the natural resources like rivers, lakes and oceans which will directly threatens the natural environment as well as life in water. The automobile industry also contribute several straight impacts to the environment such as temperature changes noise pollution etc. The usage of plastic for packaging purposes may cause degradation of soil. However, these problems are not without any solutions. The government should strictly control the emission of chemical wastes from factories to the natural resources. Likewise, the usage of agricultural fields for building purposes should be banned. Tree plantations should be promoted efficiently. One of the main solutions could be the use of reusable and recycled materials for packaging and encouraging eco friendly fuels like solar and wind energy. Conduction of seminars and awareness programmes for saving natural environment can reduce the upcoming problems effectively. To sum up, the impact of factories producing consumer products affects the natural environment. We should take preventive measures to preserve the beauty and prosperity for the future generation and can hold hands to save the earth
In this present world, due to overpopulation, the demand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
products is at the peak level. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
which manufacturers these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
adversely
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eventhough
the causes are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
, there are number of effective solutions to control and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
these damages to a great
Did you mean the noun "extent"?
extend
.

Nowadays, it is quite common that to satisfy the needs of this overwhelming population the demand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
products is getting higher and for that human activities exploit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, to compensate the space for building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
, trees and forests
are been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down.
In addition
to that several agricultural fields are
also
cleared for building such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
which produce the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
Moreover
, almost every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "industry"?
industries
contribute to global warming and air pollution.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Similarly
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
emits the chemical wastes to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources like rivers, lakes and oceans which will
directly
threatens the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
as well
as life in water. The automobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
also
contribute several straight impacts to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
such as temperature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
noise pollution etc. The usage of plastic for packaging purposes may cause degradation of soil.

However
, these problems are not without any solutions. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
strictly
control the emission of chemical wastes from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources.
Likewise
, the usage of agricultural fields for building purposes should
be banned
. Tree plantations should
be promoted
efficiently
. One of the main solutions could be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of reusable and recycled materials for packaging and encouraging
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
eco friendly
fuels like solar and wind energy. Conduction of seminars and awareness
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
for saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the upcoming problems
effectively
.

To sum up, the impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
products affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. We should take preventive measures to preserve the beauty and prosperity for the future generation and can hold hands to save the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
earth
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IELTS essay Production of consumer goods cause damage to the natural environment. Why is this so? What can be done for it.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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