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Society is affected by violence

Society is affected by violence r89Vl
There are different views on the causes of violence in the world today. Some argue that it is connected to people's exposure to violent scenes on television and in films, whilst others point to wider problems in society such as unemployment, poor housing and education as the root of anti-social behaviour. It is my belief that violence in the media plays a significant role in encouraging violent behaviour. A first point is that as level of violence in the media increase, so does young people's exposure to it. Even films aimed at children often contain violence and despite the difficulty of proving whether this directly affects society, it is hard not to be concerned. After all, children learn through modelling adult behaviour, so if the models they choose are violent then it is highly likely that they may be violent themselves. Furthermore, the way violence is portrayed in the media is often stylized resulting in violence being seen as attractive. People who are easily impressed may then behave violently themselves. Although research has shown that aggressive behaviour is actually often the result of having aggressive parents, i still believe that the unrealistic way violence is shown in the media must have a negative result on society.
There are
different
views on the causes of
violence
in the world
today
.
Some
argue that it
is connected
to
people
's exposure to
violent
scenes on television and in films, whilst others point to wider problems in society such as unemployment, poor housing and education as the root of anti-social
behaviour
. It is my belief that
violence
in the
media
plays a significant role in encouraging
violent
behaviour
. A
first
point is that as level of
violence
in the
media
increase,
so
does young
people
's exposure to it. Even films aimed at children
often
contain
violence
and despite the difficulty of proving whether this
directly
affects society, it is
hard
not to
be concerned
.
After all
, children learn through modelling adult
behaviour
,
so
if the models they choose are
violent
then it is
highly
likely that they may be
violent
themselves.
Furthermore
, the way
violence
is portrayed
in the
media
is
often
stylized resulting in
violence
being
seen
as attractive.
People
who are
easily
impressed may then behave
violently
themselves. Although research has shown that aggressive
behaviour
is actually
often
the result of having aggressive parents,
i
still
believe that the unrealistic way
violence
is shown
in the
media
must
have a
negative
result on society.
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IELTS essay Society is affected by violence

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
206 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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