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Some say that because many people are living much longer, the edge at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, life expectancy is growing over the years all over the world. This situation has many consequences to aspects as politics, economics, demographics, etcetera, and between them is the matter of retiring, which means the age when you legally stop working and commence to live with the money you have saved through all the labour years. In this respect, many people are starting to think that the fact of people living longer than before, implies that the age of retiring should be modified so people can retire later in their lives. In my opinion, despite the life expectancy of people, the age of retiring should not change. People spend almost all their lives working, enjoying the minimum of it due to the importance jobs have in our lives. Employees do not spend enough time with their families, have limited days of vacation, and have to work most part of the day. With this in mind, the minimum that people deserve after long years of work, is to retire at a dignified age, where they can still enjoy their life and the things that they have put all their effort into. Extending the retirement’s age would mean that people should spend more years working and living mainly for that, instead of having a few years of their lives to relax and rest from the pressure of jobs. Even if this means dealing with issues in the economy, I think that governments should devise solutions that benefit elderly people, as gratitude for all the effort and money they have put in the country. Maybe having retirements at a longer age would be positive for the finances of a country, but in my opinion, this would be harmful for the elderly’s physical and mental health, so I believe the ages should maintain as they are now.
Nowadays, life expectancy is growing over the years all over the world. This situation has
many
consequences to
aspects as politics, economics, demographics, etcetera, and between them is the matter of retiring, which means the
age
when you
legally
stop
working and commence to
live
with the money you have saved through all the
labour
years. In this respect,
many
people
are starting to
think
that the fact of
people
living longer than
before
, implies that the
age
of retiring should be
modified
so
people
can retire later in their
lives
. In my opinion, despite the life expectancy of
people
, the
age
of retiring should not
change
.

People
spend almost all their
lives
working, enjoying the minimum of it due to the importance jobs have in our
lives
. Employees do not spend
enough
time with their families, have limited days of vacation, and
have to
work most part of the day. With this in mind, the minimum that
people
deserve after long years of work, is to retire at a dignified
age
, where they can
still
enjoy their life and the things that they have put all their effort into.

Extending the retirement’s
age
would mean that
people
should spend more years working and living
mainly
for that,
instead
of having a few years of their
lives
to relax and rest from the pressure of jobs. Even if this means dealing with issues in the economy, I
think
that
governments
should devise solutions that benefit elderly
people
, as gratitude for all the effort and money they have put in the country.

Maybe having retirements at a longer
age
would be
positive
for the finances of a country,
but
in my opinion, this would be harmful for the elderly’s physical and mental health,
so
I believe the
ages
should maintain as they are
now
.
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IELTS essay Some say that because many people are living much longer, the edge at which people retire from work should be raised considerably.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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