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The manufacturing and use of cars damages the environment but their popularity is increasing. Why is this? How could this be controlled

The manufacturing and going by cars are so popular, but it negative effects on ecology and environment. The cause of it would be advantages of using car and popularing. The possible solution can be laws what can controll using vehicles and be encouraged going by bike or alternative kinds of transport. The first cause of increasing number of cars is advantages of going by car. Because, automobile is very usefull and helpfull in people’s life. For instance, it was reported in Forbes that 80% of people use their cars everyday for going to work, to do shopping and traveling. But significant number of cars are damaging ecology, so next problem is likely to be air polution. And a possible solution can be laws. Vehicles would be controlled by environment and using alternative ways of going by transport be recommended. The second cause is cars are very popular. They shows the status who you are. According to the statistics reported in 2019, 89% of Asian workers such as LG and Samsung workers buy new car every year for showing that they have money. Car are so popular that every city has a problem with traffic jum. A possible solution can be encouraging of riding bike. The government should do it possible everywhere and give money to children and students who use bike to go to school or university. Because money is good motivation to do it. If children start to use bike when they are small, they will continue it when they get older. The future is connected with younge individuals. In conclusion, the causes of why share of people use car are positive aspects of using car and popular of car. But possible solution are to do laws that controlled having cars and encouraging of using alternative transport. And may be in future all of people will use the part of better transport for ecology and environment.
The manufacturing and going by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
After ‘it’, use the third-person verb form “negatives”.
negative
effects on ecology and environment. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of it would be advantages of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
popularing
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
can be laws what can
Possible spelling mistake found.
controll
using vehicles and
be encouraged
going by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
or alternative kinds of transport.

The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
is advantages of going by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, automobile is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
usefull
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
helpfull
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life.
For instance
, it
was reported
in Forbes that 80% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
‘Everyday’ is an adjective. Did you mean “every day”?
everyday
for going to work, to
The usual collocation for an activity ending in “-ing” is “go”, not “do” or “play”.
do shopping
and traveling.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
significant number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are damaging ecology,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
next
problem is likely to be air
Possible spelling mistake found.
polution
. And a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
can be laws. Vehicles would
be controlled
by environment and using alternative ways of going by transport
be recommended
.

The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
. They
Possible agreement error -- use base form here: “show”.
shows
the status who you are. According to the statistics reported in 2019, 89% of Asian workers such as LG and Samsung workers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
every year for showing that they have money.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Car
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
that every city has a problem with traffic
Possible spelling mistake found.
jum
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
can be encouraging of riding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should do it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
everywhere and give money to children and students who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
to go to school or university.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
money is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
motivation to do it. If children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bike
when they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
, they will continue it when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older. The future
is connected
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
younge
individuals.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
of why share of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
are to do laws that controlled having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and encouraging of using alternative transport. And may be in future all of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the part of better transport for ecology and environment.
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IELTS essay The manufacturing and use of cars damages the environment but their popularity is increasing. Why is this? How could this be controlled

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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