Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. qBMP
Few scholarly topics have drawn as much scholarly attention as increasing retirement age in an increase of life expectancy rates, especially in the past few decades. Although there is substantial debate over whether the retirement age should be increased f or the longevity of employment tenure of old people or it should remain same as to enjoy after retirement life, I am of the opinion that the latter proposition has several strong elements that deserve attention. A number of drawbacks can be attributed to the increase in the retirement age. On the one hand, people with old age are more susceptible to infection and severe diseases which can lead to unstable productivity in their workforces. On the other, with the in crease in service years of more than retirement age will detrimentally impact on the economy with the increase in unemployment among the young population. Most of the people require more medical care facilities at old age and they need proper care and suff icient time for themselves which is possible after retirement. There is no doubt that all these merits of not increasing the retirement age will hold old people in good stead as far as their own precious time for fulfilling their dreams is concerned. Admit tedly it is true that an increase in retirement age will bring financial independence among old people and one cannot dismiss the deleterious effects associated with it. However, these benefits appear to be insignificant against the deluge of drawbacks tha t increased retirement age at the workplace offers. In conclusion, I would not wish to underestimate the concerns regarding retirement age at the workplace. Nevertheless, I feel that the role of retirement in old people’s life to spent more time with family and friends and brings more job opportunities to youngsters is instrumental indeed.
Few
scholarly
topics have drawn as much
scholarly
attention as increasing
retirement
age
in an
increase
of life expectancy rates,
especially
in the past few decades. Although there is substantial debate over whether the
retirement
age
should
be increased
f or the longevity of employment tenure of
old
people
or it should remain same as to enjoy after
retirement
life, I am of the opinion that the latter proposition has several strong elements that deserve attention. A number of drawbacks can
be attributed
to the
increase
in the
retirement
age
. On the one hand,
people
with
old
age
are more susceptible to infection and severe diseases which can lead to unstable productivity in their
workforces
. On the other, with the in crease in service years of more than
retirement
age
will
detrimentally
impact on the economy with the
increase
in unemployment among the young population. Most of the
people
require more medical care facilities at
old
age and
they need proper care and
suff icient
time for themselves which is possible after
retirement
. There is no doubt that all these merits of not increasing the
retirement
age
will hold
old
people
in
good
stead as far as their
own
precious time for fulfilling their dreams
is concerned
. Admit
tedly
it is true that an
increase
in
retirement
age
will bring financial independence among
old
people
and one cannot dismiss the deleterious effects associated with it.
However
, these benefits appear to be insignificant against the deluge of drawbacks
tha t
increased
retirement
age
at the workplace offers.
In conclusion
, I would not wish to underestimate the concerns regarding
retirement
age
at the workplace.
Nevertheless
, I feel that the role of
retirement
in
old
people’s
life to spent more time with family and friends and brings more job opportunities to youngsters is instrumental
indeed
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
302 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts