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Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important rmVN
It is believed by Some people that getting a university degree will increase the chance to securing a desirable job while others argued that acquiring experience and non-academic skills are better. Therefore, I believe that practical and infield experience is valuable but it is not as crucial as a degree. On the one hand, university study is crucial because some large companies, that have handsome salary packages, have set the criteria for the jobs. In order to get that job, the very priority is to be having a higher education. Indeed, even a student can get a job in the institution since various high level jobs are arranged by universities these days. By organizing job placement fairs in the campus, where reputed companies are invited to hire suitable candidates, have improved the future prospective career. On the other hand, experience is certainly important as some companies only prefer to hire experienced candidates. In this way, they can eliminate the cost involved in training a new employee. Despite this, soft skills such as leadership, social, and interpersonal skills are also essential. Some positions need these valuable skills that only to be gained through valid experience. For example, nowadays, most of the work is done in a team and eventually team work required communication, leadership and social skills. Finally, in my opinion, even though experience is considered more important at some positions, but the value of the degree could not be ignored. In other words, in this contemporary era, jobs have become more complicated and it is not possible to compete the job duties without having theoretical knowledge. In the conclusion, getting a desirable job requires relevant study as well as experience. One should be careful before their career in any field. Individual should consider need to obtain in order to get successful future.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that getting a university degree will increase the chance to securing a desirable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
while others argued that acquiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and non-academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are better.
Therefore
, I believe that practical and infield
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is valuable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not as crucial as a degree.

On the one hand, university study is crucial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, that have handsome salary packages, have set the criteria for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
priority is to be having a higher education.
Indeed
, even a student can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
The usual preposition for "get a job" is "with" for an organization. Revise: "with the institution".
in the institution
since various high level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are arranged
by universities these days. By organizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
placement fairs in the campus, where reputed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are invited
to hire suitable candidates, have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the future prospective career.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is
certainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
prefer to hire experienced candidates. In this way, they can eliminate the cost involved in training a new employee. Despite this, soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as leadership, social, and interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are
also
essential.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
positions need these valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
be gained
through valid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
For example
, nowadays, most of the work
is done
in a team and
eventually
team work required communication, leadership and social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Finally
, in my opinion,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is considered
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
positions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the value of the degree could not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
In other words
, in this contemporary era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
have become more complicated and it is not possible to compete the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
duties without having theoretical knowledge.

In the conclusion, getting a desirable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
requires relevant study
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. One should be careful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
their career in any field. Individual should consider need to obtain in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
successful future.
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IELTS essay Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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