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“Some professional artists are paid too much money in relation to their usefulness to the society. Do you agree or disagree?”

“Some professional artists are paid too much money in relation to their usefulness to the society. ” KVBQN
These days the values within the society have noticeably been flipped around. It is no longer abnormal to earn a huge amount of money dancing in front of a camera. Yet common sense is still in existence, because there are some professionals capable of entertaining people by being qualified and, more often than not, educated specialists. But for the presence of the skillful artists, the life as a whole wouldn’t be so interesting. In fact, it is we, the society, who are responsible for the salaries of artists, so I cannot agree with the given thesis. We must understand that successful artists, in the first instance, are beloved by the audience, meaning that they are highly distinguishable in comparison to their colleagues. Even the theme of the current work contains a word “some”, giving us an idea that the number of artists who are highly paid is significantly fewer. For instance, according to a report made by the specialized company, the average working musician earns $35, 000 per year from his or her music career, counting income from various sources. Statistics certainly give an insight that most of people go into the arts not for the big paycheck, but for self-fulfillment. Taking this into consideration, we can make up a conclusion that the main “employers” of artists are their fans. Here is the point: the more famous, beloved and talented artists are, the more money they earn. So, the society itself has been the reason for enormous salaries of some artists.
These days the values within the society have
noticeably
been flipped
around. It is no longer abnormal to earn a huge amount of money dancing in front of a camera.
Yet
common sense is
still
in existence,
because
there are
some
professionals capable of entertaining
people
by
being qualified
and, more
often
than not, educated specialists.
But
for the presence of the skillful
artists
, the life as a whole wouldn’t be
so
interesting.

In fact, it is we, the society, who are responsible for the salaries of
artists
,
so
I cannot
agree
with the
given
thesis.

We
must
understand that successful
artists
, in the
first
instance,
are beloved
by the audience, meaning that they are
highly
distinguishable
in comparison
to their colleagues. Even the theme of the
current
work contains a word “
some
”, giving us an
idea
that the number of
artists
who are
highly
paid is
significantly
fewer.

For instance
, according to a report made by the specialized
company
, the average working musician earns $35, 000 per year from
his or her
music career, counting income from various sources. Statistics
certainly
give an insight that most of
people
go into the arts not for the
big
paycheck,
but
for self-fulfillment.

Taking this into consideration, we can
make
up a conclusion that the main “employers” of
artists
are their fans. Here is the point: the more
famous
, beloved and talented
artists
are, the more money they earn.
So
, the society itself has been the reason for enormous salaries of
some
artists
.
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IELTS essay “Some professional artists are paid too much money in relation to their usefulness to the society. ”

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
251 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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