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How important is fitness in today's times

How important is fitness in today's times YRrJn
Good health is a God's gift and it is important to be fit in today's time. I totally support the former statement and reasons for my agreement are portrayed in ensuing paragraph with some examples and opinion. “Health is wealth”. Without good health, one cannot enjoy life and there are few benefits which are mentioned further. First and foremostly, good health keeps us happy, active, charming, and alert. Apart from this, a sound body has a sound mind. To cite an illustration, If a man has a lot of wealth but unhealthy, he cannot enjoy his life. He cannot do his favorite activities, even he cannot eat his favorite food. Despite, a poor person can take a sound sleep and can satisfy his hunger. Furthermore, Physical exercise plays an important role. It is good to do exercises, play games and to lead a simple life. Moreover, the body should obey us, we must not obey our body. Sports help in the physical, mental, social, emotional, and moral development of the individual. To exemplify, in earlier days, sports were used to be recreational activity only but now the importance of games and sports has been realized. As a result, it helps us to have a fit body and mind. In conclusion, I opine, everyone should start doing physical therapy to maintain their body fit and fine which may cause us to stay away from viruses and diseases.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Good
health is a God's gift and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
be fit
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's time. I
totally
support the former statement and reasons for my agreement
are portrayed
in ensuing paragraph with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
examples and opinion.

“Health is wealth”. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
health, one cannot enjoy life and there are few benefits which
are mentioned
further
.
First
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
foremostly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
us happy, active, charming, and alert. Apart from this, a sound
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
has a sound mind. To cite an illustration, If a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
wealth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unhealthy, he cannot enjoy his life. He cannot do his favorite activities, even he cannot eat his favorite food. Despite, a poor person can take a sound sleep and can satisfy his hunger.

Furthermore
, Physical exercise plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
to do exercises, play games and to lead a simple life.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
should obey us, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not obey our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
. Sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the physical, mental, social, emotional, and moral development of the individual. To exemplify, in earlier days, sports were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be recreational activity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the importance of games and sports has
been realized
.
As a result
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to have a fit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
and mind.

In conclusion
, I opine, everyone should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
doing physical therapy to maintain their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
fit and fine which may cause us to stay away from viruses and diseases.
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IELTS essay How important is fitness in today's times

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
236 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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